


Fight or Flight

by KnightofHeart109



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, M/M, Originally an RP, Other, Slow build to LoVe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:11:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4766201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightofHeart109/pseuds/KnightofHeart109
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a modern based society that hunts, kills, or experiments on it’s mages most mages find themselves far from the cities and hiding in the wilderness trying to avoid hunters and the watchers from the cities. Garrett is a mage always on the move and simply wants to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

  Garrett quickly sprinted over the fallen logs his legs tired but he kept moving. The sounds of the scouts followed him and the occasional flash of light in the sky above him. He skidded the to the edge of a steep cliff and quickly used magic to uproot a tree and slam it across to get to the other side. He quickly went across and snapped the tree in half letting it fall to slow his pursuers down. After what seemed like hours he finally got away. He collapsed to take a breather and slid his backpack off to drink from his water bottle. It had been this way for to long. Over two centuries of slaughter and fear. It had all come down to one person who had ended up condemning them all. Mages use to live peacefully with everyone else. There was the usual pang of fear with magic but with proper education everyone was fine. Then a single mage changed everything by slaughtering thousands of people and since then mages had been outcast, hunted and murdered. They were being hunted into extinction and mages hid out in the lost forests then in the cities for fear of the watchful eyes of the hunters always made anyone wary. Garrett slowly got up to keep moving when he heard the sound of a twig snap. He quickly backed up looking around. “Who’s there?”

 

Fenris broke off from the other scouts as he watched the tree fall through. He’d have to go around. Many of the others were giving up. He never considered that an option. As a hunter, he was known by the nickname “Little Wolf” due to his small stature and ruthless nature. Mages carried a high bounty, higher if you brought them in alive for experimentation. Fenris never did. When he hunted, he only killed. At a young age, he’d been taken by a group of mages that were planning a counter-attack. Embedding his skin with lines of some magic potion, he was given his ability to tear the heart from a man’s chest. However, he was meant to be a weapon, a thing, and he’d been treated as such. Perhaps it was their way of getting revenge for the experiments mages underwent. All Fenris knew was that he would use the “gift” they’d given him to hunt down every last mage. They were capable of far more cruelty than any normal person and could not be treated as normal people. However, today was different. For the first time, he’d take one in alive. He’d been promised a great deal of money and a place outside the slums if he did. Seeing the mage resting, a smile rose to his lips, lining him up in his sights when he remembered the “alive” rule. Approaching with a huff of frustration, he called for surrender. “Hands behind your head and I don’t blow your kneecaps off.” They said alive, not uninjured.

Garrett jumped at the voice before silently cursing. The gun aimed at him left no room for escape. He slowly raised his hands and placed them behind his head. He wasn’t a killer and he wasn’t planning on starting. He however was crafty and able to get out of most situations. He let out a small breath as the male came into view. He was both breath taking and a force to be reckoned with.

“I’m not a threat…we can be civil.” he said testing the waters. This could turn in his favor or end terribly.

“All mages are a threat. Especially when cornered.” Fenris replied, stepped closer. This was much harder than just sending a bullet through this mage’s head. Now he had time to cast spells. He was used to dodging them or even bearing the brunt of their force, but he was made to fight for mages, not against them. Getting hit with magic did more than the normal damage. His markings would sear with pain long after the attack was over. The mages had used it to control him while he was with them. That was why he hid the markings under his clothes. If it was just his face and neck, people assumed they were just tattoos. Moving closer, he stayed on his guard for any spells. “I’m going to pat you down. I have orders to take you alive, but try anything and I’ll find some other mage.” He explained, moving directly in front of the mage, green eyes burning with hate as he watched his hands for any sign of light or other magic.

Garrett made sure to stay still. Last thing he needed was to die. He just wanted to get somewhere safe but for now he had to be careful. This man hated mages and it showed. “I won’t do anything….I’m not that stupid.” he said being careful with his words. The mans hands were rough patting him over and he tensed when he yanked the locket from his pocket. “That’s just a family picture.” he said quickly.

Fenris stared at the locket, opening it up to look at the portrait of a happy family all together, a mom, a dad, two siblings. “They seem nice.” He complimented with a sneer. The rest of the mage’s belongings must be in the pack. This was all he had on his person…which meant it was the one thing he felt he couldn’t leave behind in case something like this happened. “You don’t need this anymore.” Standing up, he held the open locket in his gloved hands…and promptly snapped it in half. “You won’t see them again.” He chuckled, tossing the two halves into the forest. Expecting retaliation, he picked up his gun and aimed it for the mage’s head. “Don’t even think about it.” He warned.

Garrett froze watching the broken halves fly off landing away from each other. He felt his chest tighten. That was all he had left of a memory long since gone. Dead parents, dead siblings, nothing anymore. “What did I do to deserve that? Why would you do that? I did nothing wrong.” he managed to say trying not to choke up. “I have never done anything other then run….”

“Because people like you are the reason I don’t know who my family is, why I haven’t seen them in 20 years and I never will again.” Fenris spat, his hatred curdling his stomach. “You may have only run until now, but you’d turn on us all with enough time. Now, give me your hands.” He demanded, reaching behind his back for the cuffs. After the attack, the normal folk had made cuffs to restrain the magic that mages held. He rarely used his. “No funny business and we might have a nice walk back to the city.”

Garrett grit his teeth and held his wrists out. The cuffs were placed on and he looked down at them feeling his magic freeze up. It was uncomfortable and he felt like collapsing. He sniffled slightly. He had heard of hate but this was the first time it was directed so harshly at him. He was pushed and he started to walk with the gun kept to his back.

Fenris took the bag of supplies that the mage had on him, slinging it on his shoulder. No need to waste good supplies. He had a bad habit of staying out in the field too long and running out anyways. Pressing the gun to his back, he started their trek back to the city. At least was easier. Lugging back the dead body for identification was a pain. “Since we’re going to be walking for a while, we might as well learn names. Mine is Fenris, but you might know me as Little Wolf.” He introduced. He knew that he had a reputation amongst the mage underground.

Garrett shifted. He normally kept away from the mage underground for two reasons. One it was easier to target and two a lot of the mages went insane and attacked people. But the name was a whisper. One to be feared. Of course he would get fear and death in a hunter. “Garrett.” he said softly.

 

“Garrett….You’re right. You have only run.” Fenris answered. He had nothing about any crime or unnecessary force against hunters. Unlucky…Some hunters were soft and would have let him go with a solemn promise not to kidnap and torture children.

 Fenris sighed as he saw the sun start to set. Now he’d have to spend a night with this mage. Sure, he was mostly harmless with the shackles, but that didn’t mean he’d be getting much sleep. “We’ll camp here for the night.” He announced, turning Garrett to him and pulling out a slender chain from the cuffs and hooking the other end on his belt. This way, he could set camp without making sure he was running off every two seconds. “I’ll get things ready. You sit down.” He ordered, pulling out the tent from his bag and another from Garrett’s.

Garrett sat down on the leaves and watched him move setting up the tents. He shifted and kept where he was. A fire was lit and he sat next to it looking over the flames. He imagined the flames jumping up and dancing and it brought a small fire to his face. A distant memory. 

He was handed some food and he began to nibble on it while trying to keep close to the flames. 

Fenris sat next to the mage, eating his own meal by the fire he’d made. Having Garrett’s provisions had helped immensely. Looking up at the sky, he tried to figure when they’d be back…three days if he was guessing right. That was an awful lot of time to spend watching a mage. The longer he did, the more time he had to figure out what he was. 

“….Finish up soon.” He ordered, putting his dishes away in his pack, the chain pulling and retracting in Garrett’s cuffs as he moved around. He had to remind himself why he was doing this. He needed the money and a way out of the slums. His markings were already starting to ache on his skin from being around him, “calling to their master” they’d called it. By the third day, it would be distracting. Pulling off a glove, he found that they were already starting to glow again. Not enough that you’d notice during the day, but it was starting. It would  take weeks to get all the magic he’d soak in during this trip out.

Garrett saw the markings and paused. “What happened?” he asked indicating the marks. The man might not even tell him but it was better then staying silent. “Are those why you hate mages?” It might be the wrong thing to ask. He could get killed for prodding but maybe he could see the humanity in the other. Show him not all mages were insane and willing to hurt another.

Fenris turned at the mage’s voice, quickly returning the glove to hide the glow, though some seeped from his neck and chin. First night and he’d already blown his secret. He really was too used to being around dead bodies.

“That’s no concern of yours, Mage.” He insisted. If this mage knew what kind of power he could lord over him, he’d never make it back to the city, kept around as a personal bodyguard. The thought made his nose wrinkle in disgust. Maybe this mage didn’t know what those of his brethren did.

“…..Yes, they are part of the reason I hate mages. I never asked for these markings and receiving them was agonizing. But the mages needed a weapon. What did it matter to them if they had to kidnap and torture a little boy to get it?!” He quickly cut himself off before he told too much. “….Get to sleep, mage.” He ordered, retreating to his tent.

If the hunter expected a look of curiosity it was gone. In Garrett's eyes was sadness and he looked at him with soft amber eyes. “I’m sorry.” he said. He didn’t defend the mages or try to counter it. A simple sorry. He couldn’t change what had happened.

“I’m sorry that happened to you….it makes a poor impression on all mages, slanders us as terrible people….I can’t change your mind but…I am sorry.”

Fenris paused in the entrance to his tent, surprised that Garrett wasn’t prying for any specifics on how they worked. Instead…..an apology. Followed by a justification of course. ‘Not all mages.’ He’d heard from the lips of several mages he’d killed. Each one had fought him first.

“…..You just want me to soften up so I’ll let you go. It won’t work on me, mage.” He replied, slipping into his tent, the chain drawing tight as it ran out of lead. Garrett’s tent was right next to his own, both so the chain would reach and so he could keep an eye on him. In the safety of his own tent, he could take off his jacket, gloves and heavy boots. The gentle light from his markings barely lit the skin around it, but there it was…taunting him. The light would only get worse overnight.


	2. Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some changes begin with small things. But for others the change comes from a choice.

Fenris lay awake, watching the shadow in Garrett’s tent and listening to him fiddle with the cuffs. They really were genius. The chain also ran between them so he could separate his hands if he needed to, but he couldn’t use magic and couldn’t get out without the key that Fenris held. The one other time he’d tried taking in a mage alive, they’d fought him for the key that night. A fist through his chest had ended the argument.

As Garrett settled down, so did Fenris….as much as he could with a mage next to him. He hid it behind a mask of hatred and cruelty, but he still feared them. He hadn’t been able to get rid of that fear they had planted in him to keep him in line, not completely. Snatching a few hours intermittently through the night, he woke with the dawn. As expected, the marks were glowing a little brighter and with that, a dull ache spread over his body. Putting on his clothes, he stopped in Garrett’s tent, waking him with a kick to the leg. Not hard, but enough to not be called gentle. 

“Get up. We have a lot of ground to cover.” He declared, heading back outside. “They sooner I get rid of you, the better.” He muttered.

Garrett jerked awake with the kick and sat up. He groaned lowly and yawned before getting dressed pulling his shirt on and then his shoes and lacing them up. He walked out of the tent and over to his bag without thinking and bent down and went into it pulling out a brush for his hair. 

He leaned up bringing it to his messy locks. The loud snaps of twigs got his attention however.

Fenris was pulling some tube food from his pack, squeezing it into his mouth when he heard the sound. Dropping it, he raised his gun towards the direction it had come from. 

“Come out where I can see you!” He ordered. If it was another hunter, it was no problem….Mages however were another story. 

“There’s a group of us here. A lone hunter is no match for–” The mages emerged from the shadows, their leader pausing his speech as he noticed the man he was addressing. “Fenris. Long time no see.”

Fenris froze at the sound of Danarius’s voice, the tip of his gun starting to shake. He couldn’t be…not here. He needed to shoot. He needed to shoot now, but he couldn’t move, fear keeping him still. As he emerged, his eyes widened in fear. “No…” He muttered.

Garrett paused when the presence of other mages came into the clearing. He dropped his brush and watched. They circled like vultures. These were the types of mages he avoided. When the leader spoke Fenris’s name he paused looking over at the male and his chest tightened. The look of fear in the males eyes said everything. 

“This one is no threat, my friends. Watch.” Raising his hand, Danarius activated the magic trapped under Fenris’s skin, the markings flaring in a blaze of light. “A-AAGGHH!” With a scream of pain, Fenris dropped his gun, falling to his hands and knees. 

“….Seems weaker than before. He must not have much magic left in him. Let’s give it more power.” Raising both hands this time, Fenris’s scream tore from his throat, the pain bearing him to the ground, forcing him to writhe in the dirt. The light from the markings was bright enough to show through everything but his leather jacket.

 

He was frozen to the spot. What kind of magic was this? Then the thoughts of the what he had said about the marks came back to him. The magic in the marks caused him pain. One of the mages came over and easily took the cuffs off him with a smile. “Come on let’s watch.” 

Garrett stood up rubbing his wrists and in that moment he made the dumbest decision of his life. He should have run. Instead he ran up to Danarius and grabbed his wrists making him stop. “Stop it! He doesn’t deserve that!” he yelled fighting with him. 

That’s when the chaos broke out. Magic broke out in the clearing making chaos for everyone. Garrett tried to throw up barriers to keep himself and Fenris safe. These mages would kill them both. Electricity burst from his finger tips and with a loud yell sent it hurdling into the mages sending them flying back with black burns on their skin and the scent of blood filling the clearing. 

 “You that hunters bitch!?” One mage screamed sending flames at him and he countered it with ice and that spark of fear led to his next action. Ice formed under the mage and a spike jolted up impaling the mage killing him instantly. He let out a shaky breath. He had never done that before. Never killed. The others sent magic at him and he reacted again shooting them down before they could himself or Fenris. Death filled the clearing and then silence. He fell back shaking with tears falling down his face and then he covered his face whimpering softly. What had he done?

* * *

 

Fenris curled in on himself as the magic faded, body shaking with pain and the force of his sobs. The markings still burned, searing his skin. It had been so long since he’d felt that sudden pain. He’d forgotten how bad it was. He couldn’t move, could barely breathe. He heard the fight around him, but it felt far away under the force of the pain every inch of his body. He assumed that Danarius would finally kill him. He waited for that last strike of magic to come and was met with silence.

….No, not silence. Someone crying….someone that wasn’t him. Cracking his eyes open, he saw Garrett next to him….crying. Beyond him, a mage and Danarius…run through by ice. Only a mage could do that. He’d killed them…for him? It made no sense. He was taking Garrett back to be put in captivity or worse. He should have run.

“G-Garrett…Why…?” He croaked, his throat raw from screaming. Did he want him to keep for himself? But then why was he crying? He should be triumphant, taking revenge for every slight he’d faced in his care.

Garrett felt sick to his stomach as he wept. He had never wanted it to come to this. He would have escaped and gone on his merry away avoiding hunters and surviving. Now he sat in the dirt with dead mages around him. These mages had been bad people but he had killed them. 

He heard Fenris speak and looked over his eyes red. He quickly wiped at his eyes and went over to him looking over his marks. He had seen the marks in action. He could…lift the magic from it. He would hurt himself to do it sure but…no one deserved that sort of pain and suffering.

He looked at the male again. “I can..take the pain away. You’ll still be able to rip a heart out but the pain will be gone…no one deserves what I saw him do to you….that was…evil.”

Fenris glared at the other mage, hating the pity in his eyes. Did he honestly expect him to free him under such an obvious lie? Mages only caused pain. They didn’t relieve it. No, he’d seen Danarius torture him. He knew how to do it himself and he wanted a–

Finally, Fenris’s eyes fell to Garrett’s hands and fear twisted in his gut. Of course….He was already free. It was how he’d killed the others. He could torture him at will now. 

“No…No…! Don’t come near me!” He begged, trying to get up only for his arms to have no strength, the movement sending white hot pain lancing down his arm. With a sharp cry, he fell back to the ground. “Damn it! You’re all monsters!”

Garrett stopped for a moment. He had always been called a monster by people. Now he wanted to help and still called a monster. He took a breath. “Fenris, I’m not a monster. I’m a man born with a curse and no amount of telling me I’m a monster will change that. I want to help you not hurt so much…so please forgive me for this.”

His hands glowed a gentle green and it began to pull the magic from the marks. Pain flamed up on his skin and he grit his teeth. He had to do this. The magic pulled up more and more and he tried to hold back from yelling. It wouldn’t stop him from being able to rip a man’s heart out but it would stop the pain. The final pull and he fell back shaking. 

Fenris glared at the mage through his little speech. Cursed men didn’t torture children….or adults the way he’d been tortured. Hearing the apology and seeing Garrett’s hand raise, he panicked. “NO DON’T!” He screamed, curling in on himself in a futile attempt to shield himself from the pain…..

….that never came. Rather, the magic that lanced across his skin, searing everywhere it lay, fell away. The pain left him. Looking up, he saw a fraction of the pain he’d felt on Garrett’s face. The glow of the markings was subsiding as he cast his spell.

As Garrett fell over, Fenris picked himself up from the ground, watching him shake. He’d taken his pain…for what? Was he hoping that he’d take pity on him and let him go? No mage who knew about his markings could live. That was his creed. If there was one, they could tell others and he’d be hunted down the next time he left the city.

“…….Why?” He asked again, unable to just kill the man after he’d killed Danarius and stilled his markings. He needed to know why.

Garrett shivered on the forest floor waiting for the pain to fade away. It was unreal the pain he felt and Fenris felt this from his markings. He looked up at the man who now stood above him. Would he kill him? Then the question met his ears/. Why?

He slowly pushed himself up off the forest floor and into a sitting position. “I’ve seen to many people hurt because of magic and vice vera with people hurting mages, I just can’t stand it, No one deserves to be hurt like you did and I wanted to maybe make your life a little easier, make it so you didn’t hurt so much…..if you want to kill me for it…I wouldn’t blame you.”

Fenris stared at the mage bearing his pain. All mages were treacherous, willing to say whatever it took to escape. Doing this…didn’t benefit him at all. He could have activated his markings again and run while he fought the pain. 

“….I won’t kill you.” Even he understood that the mage had done him a favor. He wouldn’t meet that kindness with death. Despite that, being around an unbound mage left him uneasy, especially one that knew his secret. Picking up his gun, he felt a little safer.

“Do you know where the cuffs went?” He asked, looking around. He doubted the mage would answer. No matter his fear, he was sure that he had no wish to be bound.

Garrett looked to where he had been and saw the cuffs laying not far off. He pointed over to them. They seem to light up slightly among the leaves. He watched the other walk over and pick them up before shifting to stand. He winced feeling pain on his side and brought his hand to his side. Wet and warm. He brought his hand back up and his head began to spin. Blood. 

He pulled his shirt up to see the damage. It wasn’t to bad but left un-cared for it could get infected. He silently cursed himself for never being any good at closing wounds. He pulled his backpack over taking out a bottle of water and splashing it’s contents over the wound. 

Fenris stood to retrieve the cuffs, looking over the corpses around them. He wished he could have killed Danarius himself. He’d had the opportunity but…he just couldn’t. Not hearing Garrett speak, he looked back to see him rummaging through his pack. Planning to run? Walking over, he saw him running water over a wound at his side. Taken when he’d fought the other mages? Whatever it was, it was clear that he couldn’t heal with magic.

“Give it here.” He asked, taking the water from him and pouring it over the wound. “There’s a river not too far. We don’t have to ration this.” He explained, going into his own bag for bandages. “Sit down. I’ll treat it.”

Garrett paused looking at him before sitting down. He watched him move and for a second took in his form and face. He was…handsome to say the least. He shook his head quickly. Bad Garrett don’t look at the hunter like that. Fenris walked back over with the bandages and watched his fingers move. His movements were accurate and precise.

His wound finally bandaged up he looked to Fenris again. The cuffs sat on the forest floor next to them. He awkwardly put his shirt back into place.

Fenris wound the bandages around Garrett’s waist, binding the wound tight so no air or sweat could get in. Tying off the line, he tore the bandage off with his teeth and tossed the rest back in his pack. “…That should hold you until we get back.”

Picking up the cuffs, he paused a moment, watching the mage out of the corner of his eye. This was his chance. He was all patched up. He could zap him and run right now. Garrett was a mystery to him. He didn’t understand how he could help him the way he had and he clearly wasn’t trying to make an escape or he’d have done it. He’d had a multitude of chances while the mages attacked. Would he try now? Or let him bind him again? “Give me your hands.”

Garrett shifted uncomfortably with the bandages on him. It was something he’d need to get use to. He looked over at Fenris who was holding the cuffs. It was a tense moment and thoughts flew through his head. He could escape if he wanted to but that would mean he’d have to hurt him and he couldn’t do that. 

When Fenris spoke those words he slowly brought his hands out. So he was doomed to experiments and death? He wanted to live but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt this man.

Fenris saw the thought flit through Garrett’s head, mentally bracing himself. But he didn’t do it. He just stuck his hands out. Nothing this mage did made any sense. He couldn’t believe that he was seriously considering just letting him go. 

Clamping the cuffs on, he decided to take a day to figure out what he’d do. “Just so you know, you’re on a trial run. Even I have trouble condemning a man who saved me, even if he is a mage. I’m keeping those on you, but I won’t chain you to me unless you make me. You run, I shoot. Clear?”

Garrett nodded. “Ok.” he said. Well it was a start. He stood up feeling a bit light headed. “Are we going to walk again today or rest?” he asked. He wanted to move the tents at least to a new area. The scent of death still lingering in the area. 

“We’ll walk….just probably not as far. I think we’re both tired.” Fenris decided, packing up the tents and other supplies. If the mage ran, he’d gun him down and find another. But he didn’t think that he would…strangely enough.

As they set out, Fenris kept his gun at his side, but didn’t press it to Garrett’s back, walking beside him rather than behind, taking a slower pace. He didn’t much care about Garrett’s status, but he was sore all over. Even if his markings no longer burned his skin, he was still exhausted from the torture.

They walked for a few hours before settling next to a river with a nice clearing next to it. It was shaded and protected enough for both of their liking. Garrett was quiet for the walk and sat patiently as Fenris set the tents up. Soon a large fire was going and Garrett shifted. “I can make something to eat if you want me to.” he offered. 

Fenris sat near the fire he’d made, not that he needed to keep warm. Wearing as many clothes as he did, rarely was he cold. No, now it was mostly to hide the red welts along the edges of his markings where they’d burned. The ones on his neck and chin were raised and reddened, a reminder of the tether he’d nearly forgotten about.

“…..No. I’ll cook.” Fenris decided, getting up with a slight wince to gather food from the packs. He didn’t want to die by poison. No matter what this mage did for him, he didn’t trust him…..not completely.

He frowned watching him. It was obvious he was hurting still but he was stubborn. He watched him cook and shifted again. He was handed food and he thanked him before nibbling away. He looked up at the sky and smiled at the stars. They were so bright. “Hey the little dipper.” he said pointing toward it with a smile. It was things like this that made life such a beautiful thing. 

“My dad use to say that one day we’ll be able to hold a star and make wishes on them kinda like how you make a wish when you throw a stone in the water.”

“So mages want to steal the stars now too?” Fenris half-joked, sitting down near the mage. Picking at his food, he chose the next words from his mouth carefully.

“……..Thank you. For earlier. You could have escaped and left me and you didn’t.”

The moment the man responded even as a half joke Garrett smiled. A large dorky looking smile. He blinked as he spoke and tilted his head before a softer smile came onto his face. 

“My mother always said that no matter the person everyone deserves a bit of kindness and that violence never solves anything, and I agree with that, you didn’t deserve that, those mages were evil and needed to put down…even if..I had to do it.” he said saying the last part softer.

“….Well…Thank you.” Fenris repeated. At least Garrett’s parents had taught him that his magic wasn’t to be used to crush others. 

“She sounds nice….I’m sorry she’s gone.”

Garrett shifted and looked back at the fire. That memory would always give him nightmares. One of the main reasons he stayed away from other mages. He finished his food and flopped onto his back staring up at the sky. 

He shifted his wrists in the cuffs and let out a long breath. 

Fenris stared at the cuffs. They were beginning to seem like a formality, but if he had an unrestrained mage lying next to him, he wouldn’t get any sleep.

“…..I can’t take those off.” Fenris insisted. “For my own sake.”

Garrett looked over at him. “No I understand.” he said before pushing up again. “I’m going to go to sleep if that’s alright.” he said looking over to his tent. He was so mentally exhausted he felt like he could sleep for days. 

He also wanted to be alone for a little while. The memory of impaling the mages racing through his mind. Would it cause nightmares?

“That is fine.” Fenris answered, tired himself. Stripping off the excess clothing, he looked over the damage to his skin. If Garrett hadn’t helped, it would have been much worse by now. Somehow, this mage was different. He didn’t want to turn him in. Was he turning soft? Or was it just this mage? Shaking his head free of such questions, he laid back down to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow just going to bust out a second chapter right after the first to see if it's good. Also if it obvious Garrett is the first to fall for the broody hunter.


	3. Something is changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does it take for a rage to become affection and love?

Fenris slept hard, his body forcing him to recover from the day’s events. He woke long before dawn, however. Laying there, he contemplated what to do with his mage. Taking him back for what he assumed was something similar to what he’d gone through was seeming less like an option, but he also couldn’t let him go. So now what? Just wander? They’d have to until he could figure out somewhere else to go

Opening Garrett’s tent once the sun was up, he found the man already awake. “Get up. We have to make breakfast.” He declared, kneeling next to him and pulling out the key for the cuffs. He hesitated a moment, thinking of that searing pain. With a deep breath, he opened the lock and set Garrett free. If he ran off…….he could keep running.

Garrett rubbed his wrists and looked up at him. “Thank you.” he said and then got out of the tent and went over to the fire and added some sticks and leaves to it to keep it going and then sat down next to it. He then looked over with a small smile. “Do you want me to make something for us?” he asked. 

It was an odd feeling having the cuffs off with the male next to him. Did he expect him to stay? To Run? He had no idea. 

Fenris kept a closer eye on the mage now, watching him gather firewood and again, not try to escape.

“No. I want you to tell me why you aren’t running.” He clarified. He would still make his own food. He liked the mage, but he didn’t trust him yet.

Garrett looked over. So it was a test. He looked back at the fire and added another log. “Well I kinda assumed it was a test so I thought the best thing to do would be to just stay…I mean…..I don’t want to just up and run away that just seems..like it would be a means to an end.”

His words were jumbled and he had no idea how to really say what was on his mind. He looked over running a hand through his hair. A small part of him liked being around him even like this. He hadn’t interacted with others in so long. 

“A means to what end?” Fenris asked. Maybe he was sticking with him because he thought that he’d protect him from other hunters…Maybe he was right. 

“If you did run….I’d let you go.” Fenris admitted. “I can’t make you go back to the city after you saved my life. That’s only fair and there isn’t enough fair in the world as it is.”

Garrett blinked a few times. “What about you?” he asked. He felt something welling up inside his chest. He was nervous almost to ask. He had seen the pain of this man was concerned for him. It was strange to feel such a thing after a short time of knowing him. Like an odd desire to protect him from pain. 

“Wouldn’t letting me go make your life harder?”

“No. I would just find another mage. Bring them in instead. We have seen no other hunters so none know that I have you.” Fenris explained.

“So, if you want to leave….then go.”

Garrett shifted getting up and picking up his bag. He dismantled his tent and put everything away before looking over at him and becoming conflicted. When was the next time he would see another human being? Was he just going to wander for the rest of his life? “I…don’t want to be alone.” he admitted softly looking down at his feet.

How embarrassing here he was wanting to stay with the hunter for company sake.  

Fenris watched him pack and felt a little….betrayed? Had he really expected him to stay? Why would he? If he did, where would they go? What would they do?

Hearing Garrett speak, he sat up. He didn’t want to be alone? So he’d stay? Just for that? “Don’t you want to join of those mage groups rather than stick with a hunter?”

Garrett rubbed the back of his head. “Mages….are the reason my mother is dead and I always avoided them I don’t want to be around that kind of thing.” The memory of that mage using his mother for his experiment haunted his mind and he shifted. 

He looked back at him. “I don’t want to be alone…but…the mages I don’t want to be around.”

Fenris was silent for a while. To think that mages would experiment on the families of other mages. They were horrible. They shouldn’t exist. He still felt that way. But this one….was different.

“Then you can stay.” Fenris accepted. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so soft. “We’ll have to figure out someplace else to go, though.”

Garrett felt his heart leap and he nodded quickly. “I originally was going to head south if you want to go that way.” he said now with a small smile on his face. He felt excited now. He didn’t mind if the other was distrustful of his magic just having someone around to talk to would be enough.

“South… All right.” Fenris didn’t think there were too many hunters in that area, a smart choice for him. They rarely went that far out of their way. “Are there any towns on the way? We’ll run out of supplies in a few days. I can restock while you wait at camp.” He suggested, hardly believing what he was saying. He was actually going to abandon his assignment, travel with a mage.

“Yeah there should be some on the way I have some money you can use to get supplies and southern towns look for odd things to pay for so bringing them things from the cities is a great way to get paid.” he said with a smile.

He was so happy right now. He had another human being with him. No more being alone. 

“All right.” Fenris sighed. He’d be alittle tight on money until he could find another mage. At least bringing them in alive was no longer useful. He couldn’t make good on his current contract. He’d cancel it at the nearest hunter outpost.

Traveling with Garrett, he found himself talking to the mage, growing familiar with him. Sometimes he even forgot he was a mage. They began to travel and Garrett managed to talk a good portion of the time about various things. His mood elevated and it showed. He did however scream when a spider fell on his shoulder and let it be known the scary mage was scared of spiders.

He was pleasant company and never tried to hurt him. Fenris even laughed as Garrett screamed at the touch of a spider. This was the man he’d been so afraid of?

Garrett hid behind Fenris with the saddest whimpers he could muster and begged him to kill it. After the spider incident he was right back to his normal self making terrible jokes and even worse puns. They walked for most of the day before coming to a small town. 

Garrett shifted and his composure changed entering. More composed and on guard. Any area with more then three people made him nervous. He however happen to know who owned the local motel and wandered there with Fenris talking to the red head at the desk and was given a key. He walked back over to Fenris with a smile. “No tent tonight.”

Fenris watched Hawke as they passed through the city, scanning the crowd for colleagues. He knew an easier way to pass through, but he seemed determined to walk through the city normally. It would be easy enough to slap the cuffs on him and claim they were passing through to the larger city down the road, but he would suggest that tomorrow.

With a smile, Fenris took the key from Garrett’s hand. “Well done. Thouogh next time we enter a city, how about you let the one who’s legally allowed to be in it do the talking?” He suggested quietly as they walked to their room.

Garrett snorted. “Leliana was a family friend I can trust her not to throw me in the dirt.” he said as they entered the room. He was looking forward to washing his clothes and taking a nice long shower maybe shaving to while he was at it. He barely noticed the single king bed and made a path straight for the bathroom dropping his bag as he went.

He went in and made a loud noise of happiness and stripped down and got into the shower almost singing with happiness. Hot water. This was the life.

“It’s your head.” Fenris reminded, setting down their packs in the small room. It would be good to get a shower. His white hair was practically gray with dirt and grease at this point. Peeling off his gloves, jacket and shirt, he tossed them on the bed with a sigh of relief……..the only bed. That he’d have to share with Garrett. Who was a mage.

He could hear the man already in the shower, clearly in a good mood. He could tell him when he got out. Perhaps he could get a different room from Leliana.

Garrett washed himself raw getting every fiber of dirt off his body before stepping out. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off before wrapping a towel around his waist and walking out. He’d need to wash his clothes but thankfully he had a spare clean pair of boxer shorts in his bag. He walked over to his bag and gave Fenris a smile and pulled them out and turned away to put them on.

His back was littered with old scars and signs of abuse. Hunters he had escaped from had never been kind. He got his boxers on and turned back. “Shower is all yours I’m going to clean these.” he said indicating his clothes and opening the closet to reveal a washer and dryer and threw them in. 

Fenris was about to tell Garrett of their problem when he saw the marks on his back. He recognized a few, marks from weapons the others used, feeling the need to be cruel before taking them in for the greater reward. He had never felt that urge, even with his hatred of mages. A shot to the head or heart was quick and painless. All he needed was to rid the world of mages. Being cruel only made him like them.

“….This room only has one bed.” He finally pointed out, stripping down to his own underwear and tossing the dirt and sweat soaked clothes into the wash. His marks were glowing noticeably despite the sun with all the ambient magic they were soaking from Garrett.

Garrett turned back taking his clothes to wash them as well and looked at his markings. They were beautiful but saying that wasn’t the best thing. They were made from pain and torture something like that should not be beautiful. When he spoke up about the one bed it hit him it would most likely make Fenris uncomfortable to share a bed. 

“I…I can see if there is another room…or I can sleep on the floor.” he said mulling the options over. 

Fenris sighed. Another room would cost more money and while he had a bit saved up, they’d burn through it fast without him actively hunting anymore.

“….I’ll endure it.” He huffed. “You got us the room. I won’t kick you out of the first bed we’ve seen in weeks.”

Garrett smiled watching him go. While the other male showered he went to see Leliana and got them a few more pillows and blankets along with some free food and hauled it all back up. He placed the pillows down  and pulled the cart in. Leliana was a literal goddess for doing this. She was a supporter of free mages and that they should live without fear. 

The clothes dinged in the wash and he put them over to the dryer. She mentioned she could get them some new clothes while she was at it and he was thankful for that. They would be in the next day. He sat down on the bed and flopped back. His back was aching and the bed was such a new sensation after a long time of laying in a tent. 

Fenris sighed in contentment as the warm water ran over his skin, washing away the grime and easing the subtle ache of his markings. He hardly wanted to leave anytime soon. Scrubbing the dirt from his hair, it returned to its natural pure white color.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he returned to the room, rummaging in his pack for his change of clothes. They were warm weather clothes so he only wore them around his flat back in the city, but there was no point in hiding his markings now. Garrett knew already. He’d cover up if he went outside. For now, he wanted to be comfortable and not encased in cloth and leather.

Garrett looked up at the other as he strolled out now clean. He got up pulling the cart over to the bed and taking the lids off. “I got us some food.” he said and that was true to the words. It was a lot of food to. Not rationed goods but actual good food. 

Garrett loaded his plate up and sat down beginning to eat. He looked to Fenris with a smile. “So can I ask you something?”

Fenris started making his own plate, loading it up with real food. Sitting on the other side of the small table, he paused.

“You know the basics already. May as well get the details.” It looked like they’d be traveling together for a while.

“Where are you from? Your accent isn’t from around here so I assumed it was from farther away.” he asked being careful with his questions. It seemed a harmless question to ask. He stuffed his face full of food making his cheeks round. He was a messy eater he’d admit it but it was so good he could not be bothered with being proper.

Fenris stopped eating, thinking about the answer. Where he was from was….not a pleasant place. Since the mage hunts had began, many had gathered and made a mage city, Minrathous. There, mages practiced their craft freely……. and committed all manner of horrors.

“I ….do not remember where I was born, but I was taken to Minrathous as a child. There, I learned to fight and….received my markings.”

“It actually exists? How do they keep the hunters away most hunters I’ve encountered are capable of taking a mage down no problem with the right equipment.” he said. He had rumors of such a city and mages would set out for it without a care. The darker stories of the city however also made their way to many ears. 

“I never thought to seek it out due to the dark things you hear about that city and I guess I was right to do so.” 

“You were. It may seem a paradise to mages, but for anyone non-magical brought there, we are toys to be played with and experimented on, turned into things they might have use of rather than living people. The mages keep hunters at bay by sheer number. There are hundreds of them within the walls and hunters rarely travel in more than a group of three.” Fenris explained.

“….If you ever express a desire to go there, I will take back my pledge of amnesty and crush your heart myself.” He added, staring harshly into Garrett’s eyes. 

Garrett shifted and continued to eat. “I’d rather not go.” he muttered looking down at his food. An hour or so later he headed back into the bathroom with a shaving kit. He washed his face again and began to trim away the hair that had grown. It slowly was snipped away till a face could be seen under it and he stopped washing the sink. Still some hair on his face but less now.

He walked back out feeling off without so much hair on his face but now a little cooler. 

Fenris finished eating in silence, forcing back down the memories of Minrathous that had been turned over. With Garrett in the bathroom, he settled on the bed, curling up on his side.

No longer having to listen for others around them and not sleeping on the ground for the first time in days, Fenris slipped into sleep.

Garrett looked over at the sleeping male and smiled softly. He got another blanket and gently placed it over him so he would stay warm before getting onto the other side of the bed. He lay down getting under the blankets and sheets and quickly falling asleep. 

In his sleep he rolled toward the other body. The presence of another person easing his sleep easily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll here. I'm trying to space this out as much as I can but I kinda want to just put out the stuff already written out. But hey if anyone wants a nice piece of information the song for this story is 'Bloodstream' by Stateless  
> Comments are always loved.


	4. Chaos can bring us closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When in doubt chaos can change everything.

The tight curl Fenris was sleeping in relaxed as the blanket warmed him. Sleep came easily in the fine warm bed. Even the mage getting in next to him didn’t wake him.

The next day, he blinked his eyes open in the morning light, not having to wake at dawn for once. He paused a moment, seeing Garrett only a few inches from him before he flew from the bed, landing rather ungracefully on the floor.

Garrett was breathing softly and did not wake from the movements. He did however shift slightly and stay asleep. The room was quiet and the clock read 9:32am. A soft knock came to the door. It was someone with morning breakfast and it was dropped off for the two of them along with a package of clothes. 

Fenris answered the door, mentally checking for any sore spots. It didn’t feel like the mage had touched him anywhere. Taking the packaged inside, he noticed that Garrett was still asleep. The man could apparently sleep through anything.

At around 11:30 Garrett finally stirred and sat up blinking. “Morning.” he yawned and stretched looking over to the cart. “Foooood.” he groaned and crawled over the bed to it and got himself a plate. He then sat back with a goofy grin and began to eat. He looked over at Fenris. “Sleep well?”

Fenris couldn’t help a chuckle as Garrett went straight for the food. You’d never think that he was a dangerous mage on the run. Maybe that was the point. 

“I did….until I woke up this morning and you were inches away.” He pointed out, clearly not comfortable with the close proximity. Looking over his arms, he sighed in defeat. He couldn’t go outside like this. In broad daylight, the marks were noticeably alight. People would think  **he**  was a mage. Only other hunters knew about the abilities the marks granted him. Normal folk would simply see them for the magic they were.

Garrett blinked mouth full of eggs and bacon. “Sorry….My mother said I liked to cuddle when I was younger I guess that applies to me now….sorry.” he said swallowing his food and blushing slightly. He stuffed more food into his mouth eating away before looking back at him.

“Do you want me to go out and get anything today?” he asked. His marking with how much illumination they were giving off deemed unwise.

That option was littered with problems too. Garrett actually was a mage and if he was caught…..well, he’d have to go through detox again, but it wasn’t bad enough to be a major deterrent. By all accounts, getting rid of Garrett or even turning him in was his best option, but he’d grown fond of the man. If he hadn’t, this problem wouldn’t exist. He could ask Garrett to take the magic out of the markings, but that would make his magic even stronger….a powerful drug for mages. If he knew that he could be used as his own personal battery, how would their relationship change? Would he care? He didn’t use the markings against him before.

“It’s dangerous for you to go out and I need some things from the hunter outpost. You can’t go there.” The hunter outpost could provide free supplies and possibly a paycheck. He couldn’t let the markings get worse. He’d known that sooner or later he’d have to ask. It still wasn’t the tether. He would not let Garrett have that kind of power over him.

“…..You can take the magic out of my markings.” He finally explained. “They’ll stop glowing and I’ll be able to get the supplies.”

Garrett blinked and shifted on the bed. He knew how the other felt about this but was it wise? Would he think less of him if he took it out? How would that magic affect him? He looked over at him. “I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable and I don’t want you to think less of me…” he said softly. He liked this man maybe more then he should. 

“Would it be uncomfortable if I did such a thing?” 

“No….Well, yes, it would, but we don’t have a choice. If I’m going to stay with you, I have to trust you at least a little bit. These markings were made so they’d need constant mage upkeep to keep me from leaving.” Fenris explained. “It will be better than trying to separate myself somewhere and enduring the detox for a week.”

He crossed his arms with a sigh. “I am asking you to do this. If it would truly make me think less of you, I would not ask.”

Garrett looked down thinking it over before looking back up. “I don’t want to hurt you.” he said barely over a whisper but then moved forward toward him. “Just sit on the chair and I can take the magic out it should be fine.” he said with a small kind smile. 

Fenris nodded, sitting down and bracing himself. Garrett said he didn’t want to hurt him, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Still, it was nothing compared to when a mage sent magic landing through him.

Garrett’s hands began to glow softly and before he paused. An idea raced through his mind and he gulped. Pulling pain and magic into him would have a dual effect on his body. Might knock himself out for a little bit. He began to pull at the magic and in tune any pain that might be affecting him. It was dull yet the magic itself was like a power boost and it felt like a fresh breath of air. 

He grit his teeth when a spark of pain hit his body but kept it up until it was done then flopped backwards onto the bed.

Fenris winced at the process began, his skin aching along the lines of magic carved into it. Gritting his teeth, he watched the light fade from the marks. His mind was screaming at him not to give the mage this power, but he had no choice.

He sighed with relief when it was over, leaning back in his chair. “H-How do you feel?” He asked, locating his gun nearby if Garrett was less immune to power than he’d hoped.

Garrett’s head was spinning and he let out a long breath. “Feels like I just got hit with electricity feels weird.” he said trying to put it into words how he was feeling. He sat up and felt oddly warm and tingly. Warmth was especially in his groin and he looked down noticing. Oh shit he was hard. 

Fenris’s hand twitched towards his gun as Garrett sat up, but he held back. He didn’t tell him to give him more power or anything menacing like that. He watched the other closely for any sign of new plans when he noticed the bulge in his pants……That was new.

He couldn’t help a snort as his tension dissolved, taking the gun now simply because it was strange for him to leave without it. “I’m going out then. You take care of that.”

Garrett nodded quickly his face a brilliant shade of red. He had never been so embarrassed. He had popped a boner from absorbing magic! He watched him go before flopping back with a loud groan. He must look like an idiot from it all. However he needed to deal with the problem and headed to the bathroom to shower and pull one out.

* * *

 

Fenris headed for the hunter outpost, glad to be walking around without Garrett for once. For someone who’s spent the last several years living and working alone, he was spending an awful lot of time….well, not alone.

Talking with the starstruck clerk who couldn’t get over that he was talking to “THE Little Wolf”, he managed glean some extra provisions and his last paycheck before he had to bring in another kill. While he was at it, he canceled his old contract. It wasn’t outside of his reputation to turn down a capture request once he actually got into it. He only did kills and the organization knew it.

Walking back to the motel with the supplies and newly calibrated sights on his assault rifle, he remembered the state he’d left Garrett in and had another laugh. He also briefly wondered what he’d think about….He’d noticed his eyes lingering the other day. Did he like him or just the power trapped under his skin? He knew what to do with one…If he really liked him…he didn’t know what to do with that.

“I’m back.” He announced, stepping into the room and setting the bags down.

Garrett poked his head out of the bathroom and smiled over at him. “Did you have fun?” he asked walking out still dressed down but now with pajama pants and a loose shirt. He had done his business and then went about doing little things. He repaired the plaid shirt and even went and helped Leliana out for awhile. He was lucky she was so giving and even gave him another set of pants. Pants were so hard for him to come by due to his height and every pair he got was repaired over and over to last him. 

He sat on the bed with a large smile trying to forget that he had popped a boner in front of the other. 

“Yes. We have provisions and a bit more money. I’ll have to take someone in soon if we want that to last though.” Fenris explained. He was more excited about the sights on his gun, but he doubted Garrett wanted to hear about how his shots going left when he thought he was lined up was driving him crazy.

“We should head back out within the week. Staying here is strange for me and dangerous for you.”

Garrett nodded and looked over at his gun. “That’s a nice gun.” he said stating his thoughts out loud. He pulled a biscuit over and began to munch on it slowly. He really didn’t want to go but with so many hunters around it was dangerous not to. With that he nodded. He got up heading back to bathroom and then changed into jeans and his plaid shirt. He wanted to go for a walk. He walked back out and pulled his socks and shoes on. “There is a safe area for me to walk and I’ll be careful.” he said slipping into his shoes.

“…….All right. Call if you get into trouble.” Fenris insisted. If other hunters found him, he could claim him as his. His reputation should be good for at least that. He wanted to get the provisions sorted and figure out how to make their money last.

* * *

 

Garrett left the room heading down the steps and walking across the town keeping to the alleyways and out of sight of hunters. He was walking across the street when everything went to hell. Sudden eruptions of magic went off all over town. It was powerful enough to make the ground shake. He looked around in a panic and the streets came alive with fighting. Mages killing hunters and hunters killing mages. He stumbled back avoiding a lightning bolt narrowly missing his face. 

He turned to run. He legs weak and shaking trying to get away from the crossfire. He then remembered. Fenris. He had to go to him. He turned heading to the motel trying to avoid the chaos. Pain struck his shoulder and he stumbled forward onto the stairs that led up to the motel and he quickly moved up. 

Fenris heard the outbreak, looking out the curtains only briefly before snapping them shut and sinking to the ground. He couldn’t go out there. He could help the hunters, but if he got hit by one of the mages….He could just see them ganging up on him.

Grabbing his gun, he wondered what Garrett was doing. A part of him wondered if he’d started this, using the new power while he was away. That didn’t seem like him though. He heard someone at the door and checked the peephole. Garrett….Injured. He cracked the door open enough for him to slip through. “What happened?!”

Garrett slipped inside shaking slightly. “I don’t know everyone just went insane, there were some mages…I think they wanted to start chaos and well it’s terrible out there.” he said and slumped onto the bed. His shoulder was burning and he hissed placing a hand over the burning area. 

The sounds of fighting got louder and he looked to Fenris. With the magic it was impossible not to be hit and he didn’t want to see him get hurt. Magic shook the building and Garrett looked to the door and it flew open and two mages stared in shooting magic into the room. Garrett reacted against better judgement and threw up a barrier over himself and Fenris yelling in pain from his shoulder.

Fenris listened to Garrett explain, hefting his gun on his hands. Good thing he’d gotten new sights. He seemed hurt. He was about to get up to check when the door blew open.

Seeing two mages, Fenris get behind the bed for cover. Something tried to hit him but bounced off. A barrier…Popping up, he fired on the intruders, pulling their corpses in from the doorway and barricading them both in with the chairs.

“Garrett, are you all right?” He asked, checking the shoulder he kept holding. He’d kept him from getting hit and likely saved both their lives. If he’d been unable to shoot, the mages would have taken them both out.

Garrett was shivering. Blood covered his hand. Whatever he had been hit with had done more then make a wound. He grit his teeth feeling the magic within him in a turbulence. The sound of voices grew near. A window shattered nearby. Garrett’s eyes rolled back and he fell back. Vivid flashbacks flashed in his mind. The day hunters attacked the town he had been in and his father being impaled. 

He let out long breathes. “Fenris….it hurts.”

Fenris wrestled with himself. He needed to treat Garrett’s wound, but clearing the area was also important. If he could get rid of the mages near them, he could have more time. But without a barrier or other hunters, he didn’t stand a chance. He’d have to just patch it for now.

“Hold still. This is going to sting.” Fenris warned, getting a wet cloth and washing away the dried blood. Grabbing the bandages, he wrapped Garrett’s shoulder. “I have to hold this room. Don’t open the door unless you know it’s me.” He insisted, heading back for the window….There were a few hunters here now… Good. He could enlist their help. Moving the barricade, he slipped out the door and joined the fight.

Garrett tried to reach after him but he was gone. He lay back panting. He was scared. He hated to admit it but he was downright scared right now. He managed to pull a pillow behind his head and he tried to relax. After ten minutes he managed to push himself up and get over to the window. No one was outside and it was very quiet now. He looked at the bodies and pulled them outside and left them before locking the door again. 

Fenris met with the other hunters, introducing himself and taking a position on top of the building. Out of the fray, but with a good vantage point. Picking off mages that fell within range, he managed to avoid most magic….most. He was grateful that the roof hid his form as he pressed a hand to his mouth to muffle the scream of pain, waiting for the pain to pass.

Soon the fight was over and then hunters that remained began claiming who they’d killed. Limping to the room dragging two more bodies, he frowned. Garrett had apparently left these two outside. Four kills would set them up for a few months and he’d nearly gotten them carted off. “Garrett…..Let me in…” He pleaded, exhausted from the fight.

Garrett heard his name being called and swaying back and forth went over to the door and unlocked it looking at the male. He saw the pain he was in and the bodies. He moved to let him the bodies now on the floor. He looked at Fenris and without thinking moved toward him. He began to pull the pain from Fenris’s body and touched his hand. “I’m glad….your back.” he said breathlessly. 

Fenris stepped inside, letting go of the bodies. He was about to retrieve the two that Garrett had tossed out when he stepped towards him. The battle made him skittish and he stepped away before making himself relax. He noticed the pain in his markings growing weaker…until Garrett touched his hand. The reaction to someone with magic was strong and with the markings already sore, he yanked his hand away as he was burned. 

“I’m fine. You don’t need to do that. I’ll finish bandaging your shoulder, so go lay down.” He ordered, turning back to drag the bodies inside. “And next time I leave mage bodies in here, leave them. These are my craft and I need to sell them.”

Garrett tensed when he yanked away. “Sorry….they were making me feel ill.” he said softly. He watched him for a moment before going to lay down. He grabbed a pillow and brought it over his face. He wanted to cry. So many emotions were building up inside of him. He didn’t want him to know though. He hated this, hated the fighting, hated himself for being born this way.

He pushed the pillow with his free arm more onto his face. He wanted to sleep. 

Fenris understood how someone unused to being around death would be uncomfortable with them. It had just been so long that he hadn’t thought about it. Seeing Garrett forcing the pillow onto his face, he felt a twang of panic.

Walking over a little quickly, he pulled the pillow from Garrett’s face. “Don’t do that….Just, let me take care of your shoulder.” He ordered, peeling off the makeshift bandage and thoroughly cleaning and wrapping it this time. His fingers would burn where he touched Garrett, but no more than they would on a hot plate. 

Garrett kept wincing as he cleaned it and finally let out a long breath when it was over before rolling onto his good side. “I need to sleep a little.” he said pulling a blanket over himself. He hadn’t felt like this in a very long time. He wanted to be able to hold the others hand but because of his magic it would cause him pain. Magic had done nothing for his life only make it hard. 

He pulled the pillow back over his head. He wanted to cry.

“…..All right. Just don’t smother yourself.” Fenris half-joked. “I’m going to take these bodies to the outpost.” He really wanted to leave them until he could get some rest, but Garrett was clearly put off by them. To Fenris, they were just things.

 

The moment Fenris left he burst into tears. Large tears and he cried all his frustration out. He got up and washed his face afterwards before getting back into bed and curling up with some extra blankets. How long could he keep this up before he burst? 

He heard Fenris come back and get onto the bed. He was tired he could tell but he didn’t move. He didn’t want him to see his puffy eyes. 

Fenris didn’t even take off his boots before he fell asleep. Dragging four bodies down the street, getting hit during the fight, everything had worn him out. Curling up on his side with his back to Garrett, he fell into sleep, despite the ache on his skin.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's not obvious we really like to hurt Garrett. It's our way of making the story dynamic "Your going to get hurt being around me." Don't worry it only gets worse my dear readers. Also Hawke has an issue with and blood. Comments are always loved.


	5. Somebody To Cry For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss? I think so. Also drama. I also think yes.

Garrett listened to Fenris's breathing and heard him fall asleep. He waited before getting up and going into the bathroom. His shoulder was aching and he wanted to shower. He stripped down and slowly undid the bandage. His shoulder was red and raw and the wound was pulsing softly with each movement. He ran the water and stepped in. The heat feeling good on his skin. 

He felt something in the wound and moved his hand up. Something was prickling inside of his wound. He got out of the shower and re-wrapped his shoulder. He hoped it was something that would go away. He went back out to the bedroom and got into the bed and slowly passed out. 

* * *

 

Fenris stirred as the light came up the next day, surprised that he had slept for so long. His markings didn’t even hurt anymore. With a groan of effort, he pulled himself from the bed. It didn’t look like they’d be leaving today. His stamina was still sapped.

Going to the packs, he found some water to wake himself up. As he crossed back to Garrett, he noticed that the bandages weren’t as tight. He must have taken them off at some point. He’d have to redo them. Besides, he didn’t even know what Garrett had been shot with. A bullet or some other device could be in it.

“Garrett…Wake up.” He called softly, reaching out to touch him when he remembered their limitation. He could get rid of it, be perfectly comfortable around Garrett, but he would not give him that power unless he absolutely had to.

Garrett had slept hard the whole dreaming of fields of pastel like flowers and faces lost in seas of colors. The sound of the ocean crashed into his ears. He saw past pastel colors to another figure. He walked toward it the figure’s tan skin sticking out among the colors. White hair moving slightly in the wind and white markings on the skin bright. He reached out to him.

His eyes opened when his named was called and reality all came back. No pastel field no calm wind. He looked over blinking slowly. “Morning.” he croaked. 

“How are you feeling? I need to rewrap your injury.” Fenris quickly explained, a little worried about it. He wanted to really look at the damage, pull out any shrapnel.

Crossing to his pack, he pulled out new bandages and disinfectant. He’d left it too long already….

“How are you feeling? I need to rewrap your injury.” Fenris quickly explained, a little worried about it. He wanted to really look at the damage, pull out any shrapnel.

Crossing to his pack, he pulled out new bandages and disinfectant. He’d left it too long already….

Garrett slowly used his good arm to push himself up. His shoulder had locked up and was stiff. “Feel a bit under the weather.” he said which was a lie. In truth he felt horrible. He hadn’t felt so ill in a long time and he yawned. He looked at his shoulder and tried to shift it and hissed. OK that hurt a lot.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I slept for more than 12 hours. I think that’s your answer.” Fenris replied, returning with the supplies. Being careful, he unwound the bandages from Garrett’s shoulder. He couldn’t tell if it had been a bullet yet, but the skin was clearly festering.

“This is going to hurt.” He warned. Pouring some disinfectant on a cloth, he rubbed at the wound, washing out newly collected puss. Once he could see the skin clearly, he found a puncture that didn’t pass through the outside. Whatever he’d been shot with was still inside. A clean bullet shouldn’t be festering like this, not when he’d wrapped and cleaned it so soon. Which meant….

“Garrett, I need you to be honest. How are you feeling?” He asked again, clearly more serious as he returned to his bag. He needed to get this out soon if it was what he thought. It wouldn’t be pretty….

Garrett let out a soft cry when he cleaned the wound and shivered. His head was killing him. He let out a soft pant and groaned. He sniffed and tried to relax under the pain. He watched him move and thought about it. He was clearly more serious then before. 

“I feel ill, like when you have the flu….and my shoulder hurts a lot.” he answered truthfully.

Fenris quietly groaned. He wished he hadn’t been right. After a lot of fishing around in his pack, he found a long pair of pliers for emergency repairs to his gun….or just this reason. He was out of painkillers….Not a good situation.

“You got hit by a tainted bullet. If you can’t catch a mage right away, you shoot them with one and it makes them sick, slows them down until you can catch them. You’ll only get worse if I don’t get it out.” Fenris explained, sterilizing the pliers with a lighter. “….I don’t have any painkillers.”

Garrett watched him listening. Fenris would have to pull it out. The idea was scary and the scent of blood would without a doubt make him feel ill. He looked to the male and shifted. This would most likely make everything better but he was scared. 

He looked to Fenris again and a sense of trust washed over him. “I trust you.”

Fenris spread a towel on the bed behind Hawke to catch the blood and made him lie down. Handing him the smaller one, he ran the sterilized pliers under the faucet to cool them off. 

“Bite down on that and try to keep still. I won’t lie. This will hurt.” Fenris advised, sitting on top of him and holding down his arm with one gloved hand. As gently as he could, he forced the tool into the hole in Garrett’s shoulder.

Garrett bite the towl and watched him with the tool. If he hadn't felt so sick he might have enjoyed the other sitting on top of him. Then the tool pushed into his wound and he screamed into the towel. It was burning and every fiber of his core screamed in pain. He bit harder and focused on his magic. He didn’t want to loose control. Tears watered from his eyes cascading down his face. The scent of blood filled his nose making him feel sick.

The tool moved deeper to find the object. Fenris was keeping him down with insane strength. 

Fenris pressed hard on Garrett’s arm, keeping his shoulder steady so he could do this with as little pain as possible. He blocked the mage’s muffled screams from his mind, concentrating on his task. He felt something hard against the tip and slowly, forced the pliers open, widening the hole. This would be the worst part.

Gripping the projectile tightly to keep it from slipping, he slowly pulled it free, revealing a small capsule-like bullet. “Don’t move. I still have to patch it up.” Looking at the hole, it was obvious that it needed stitches….well, after he cleaned up all the blood.

When the bullet was finally pulled from the wound Garrett went limp on the bed panting hard. He felt sick to his stomach from the scent filling his nose. Fenris cleaned the would and then began to stitch the wound. It was to much for him and he passed out.

Garrett being passed out made it easier for Fenris to work, stitching up the hole in his shoulder and cleaning it again. Winding new bandages tightly around his shoulder, he sat back….He really should wake him up to keep an eye on his status.

“Garrett…..I’m all done. Wake up.” He ordered, patting him lightly on the cheek, making his hand tingle.

Garrett slowly opened his eyes and wished he hadn’t. Pain was still throbbing in his shoulder and he whimpered. “It’s hurts.” The words that left his mouth were cracked and soft. He didn’t want to move but he could tell he was feeling a tad better then before. 

His eyes wandered up to Fenris and his good arm reached up lightly touching his hand. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I expected you to pass out long before now.” Fenris explained. “I need you to stay awake and tell me how you feel. Let me know if anything changes.” He wondered if he had anything to help with the pain….There was that, but he was saving it…No, Hawke needed it more.

“I got some strong wine from the outpost. It’ll help with the pain.” He went to his pack and pulled out the flask, bringing it to Garrett.

Garrett blinked looking at the flask. “It’s ok keep it…I..don’t drink.” he said with a soft voice. He managed to push himself into a sitting position and leaned against the headboard. He let out a soft groan and looked over to him again. “You can go to Leliana if we need any food or something.” he said. 

He then looked down for a moment. “Can…can I…hold your hand for a second…?” Just some comfort. That’s all he wanted.

Fenris nodded, a little happy that he would get to keep the flask.  Garrett’s request surprised him, leaving him wondering if there was some motive to it. Another power siphon from the markings perhaps? He didn’t seem like that was what he wanted though.

Slowly, Fenris placed his gloved hand in Garrett’s, unsure what to do from there. Physical affection was something very foreign to him.

Garrett held onto his hand gently and a soft smile appeared on his face. Even with the glove he could feel the warmth in his hand and pulled it close to his face and placed it on his cheek still holding on. After a few seconds he let go. “Thank you…I really needed that.” he said. No magic no deadly attempts at power just a simple touch and reassurance. 

Fenris let Garrett do what he wanted, curious to where this would go. Nothing happened….well, not nothing, just nothing Fenris had expected. When Garrett let go, he didn’t move, something feeling tight in his chest. His thumb brushed against the mage’s cheek, the glove protecting the lines that ran across his palm from reacting. Staring at the injured mage, his eyes lingering on his lips. He didn’t realize he’d been leaning in until his lips brushed against the others.

Garrett's heart skipped a beat when his thumb grazed his cheek. Even though it was gloved he still enjoyed the sensation. What he didn’t expect was the male to lean in and kiss him. His lips were soft and warm and his heart skipped several beats and he leaned into it and kissed back. 

Fenris’s body seemed to react on it’s own, his mind going silent as he returned the kiss. He was starting to pull Garrett closer when a dull pain started gathering at his chin, building to a burn that forced him to pull away. As his markings singed his skin, whatever compulsion he’d been under broke. 

Garrett was a mage. For all he knew, he’d been the one to plant the idea of the kiss in his head. He couldn’t do this. Not with him. “I….need some air.” He declared, quickly leaving the room to take stock of his current thoughts and feelings, whether they were something Garrett had planted in him or….if they were real.

Garrett let out a breath as Fenris pulled away his face a bright red from the kiss. Then he saw his face. Confusion. He tilted his head slightly and then felt himself shrink as Fenris left the room. Oh. Right. He was a mage. He leaned back. He liked Fenris. A lot. He wanted to be able to hold him and just simply be more then ‘The Mage’ to him. 

He hoped he’d come back. He would wait and hoped…hoped that his heart wouldn’t break.

* * *

 

Fenris took stock of how he felt as he got further away. Getting further away should weaken any sort of…..mind control, right? But the fluttery feeling in his chest wasn’t going away. So what did that mean? That he….liked Garrett? He’d liked the kiss….No. It just wasn’t possible. Not only because mages could not be trusted, but because of the markings. There was a way around that, but he would not give Garrett that power…He couldn’t give that to him…..right? No. There was no guarantee that this wasn’t some manipulation.

As he walked back to the room, he paused at the door, his heart pounding for some reason. Well, not some reason. Because Garrett was inside. Was this him or Garrett making him feel like this? He’d always been honest before…He needed an answer. He couldn’t live wondering if his thoughts were his own. Opening the door, he did something he hadn’t done in the weeks since meeting the other. He picked up his gun and aimed it at Garrett’s head.

“What did you do to me?!” He demanded, pressing the muzzle into his forehead. “If you did something, undo it now and I won’t split your head like a watermelon.”

Garrett shifted uncomfortably waiting the the man to return and made a decision. When he got back he would tell him. He would admit his feelings to the other. It would kill him not to. The door opened and he looked up only to pale when the other drew his gun. The cold metal pressing into his forehead making him shiver. 

He opened his mouth. “I didn’t do anything I wouldn’t do that to you…I…I..” he panted trying to get the words out. “Use the cuffs…..that cuts off the magic…if I did anything…it would stop…I swear…I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Fenris hated himself for taking comfort in Garrett’s fear, knowing that even if his mind was hijacked, he could still do this much. As Garrett pleaded that he wouldn’t do that to him, he took him up on his offer to use the cuffs. Slapping the metal around his wrists, he waited, not moving his weapon from his target.

He waited for some sudden change of mood or to be suddenly repulsed by the kiss as he should be….There was nothing. No changes. The longer he stared at Garrett’s fear stricken face, the more he wanted to pull his gun away. And those were his true feelings. Garrett couldn’t control him now. His eyes dropped to his lips and he remembered the kiss, making him bite his lip.

“……I believe you. I’m sorry.” Fenris accepted, pulling up the muzzle of his gun and setting the safeties back on. Leaning it against the wall, he sat on the bed, running a hand down his face. This meant that he’d kissed Garrett….because he wanted to. And a part of him, a strong part, wanted to do it again. He still feel it tingling on his lips and not entirely from the markings. He actually had feelings for a mage….Well, if he was going to fall for a mage, he was glad that it was Garrett.

Garrett’s heart was pounding and he shifted. The cuffs had forced him to move his shoulder and it was aching now. He ignored it watching him. He saw his expression change and then he pulled away. He felt relief wash over him and he leaned back trying to not move his shoulder. 

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he said softly looking down. He needed to tell him. If he didn’t he might just cry. “Fenris I….” 

“……….What?” Fenris pressed, curious about his answer. He’d been the one to kiss the other. If anyone was going to apologize for making the other uncomfortable, it should be him. He couldn’t look at Garrett right now, his heart pounding away in his chest, blood rushing in his ears. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been….what? Nervous? Whatever it was, it was his feelings. The cuffs were still on.

Garrett took a deep breath steadying himself and looked over at him again. “I like you…a lot and I know I’m a mage and I’m not trying to change anything…well this does change things but I…I like you and I wanted to say it before…anything else happened.”

He looked down again his face red. Would he leave? 

Fenris let the words soak in for a while. So, Garrett liked him? He could have guessed that by his reaction to the kiss. Even if one arm was injured, he could have pushed him off with the other. But he’d leaned into it….and so had Fenris. If he hadn’t felt his markings burning, how much further would he have gone?

He’d never thought about his feelings towards Garrett. He was just….there. But why had he allowed him to come? He’d never felt pity for mages before. He’d said it was as a favor for saving his life, but he’d been honestly worried when he’d patched Garrett’s shoulder, finding the tainted bullet. He could have left it in, let the illness take him out and go back to traveling alone. Instead, he’d performed amateur surgery to save him, checked on him afterwards……held his hand….kissed him. It didn’t feel like he was keeping Garrett around out of an obligation anymore. He wanted him around, as inconvenient as that was for him. Never mind his markings, if he was found to be in a relationship with a mage, he’d lose his job. Quite frankly, he loved his job. He was good at it and it suited him.

“I…..don’t know yet. There’s a lot to consider. I can’t tell you one way or the other.” Fenris answered, unable to admit that he liked the other just yet. He just wasn’t sure.

Garrett's heart was pounding as he waited for something. He had never felt emotions like this for another before. He had always been on the run and always more concerned with keeping himself and his family safe. When they all died he just ran and kept running. All his emotions were rattled into a base form of survival. But being around Fenris made him feel….normal. Like the magic could be forgotten and he could just be a person.

He shifted his gaze upwards for a moment and paused. He was scared of his reaction. He didn’t know to expect and that was the worst. When the words left the others mouth his heart froze. What did that mean? “I…ok.”

The pain in Garrett’s voice pulled at Fenris’s heart. He wanted to fix it, but he wouldn’t lie to make him feel better. He didn’t know how he felt yet. He could just be lonely and going after the first person to show him attention. 

“I’ll take these off.” He announced, unlocking the cuffs and returning them to his belt. “I’m sorry for attacking you…You should rest. You’re still sick. I’ll let you know when I…figure this out.” He’d have to soon or this would drive him crazy.

Garrett rubbed his wrists when the cuffs came off and nodded. “It’s ok…it’s understandable…I’m a mage and all.” he said. Those words felt heavy. He slowly lay down and pulled a sheet up over himself to rest. He needed to sleep. To dream again of something bright and pastel. Those dreams were more peaceful then life. 

“I’m going to sleep for awhile.” he said and rolled onto his good shoulder and closed his eyes. A small surge of magic to easily to put him out for awhile and he was sleeping. His dreams brought the pastels again. The soft grass under his feet and the wind blowing in his hair. Peace and freedom and he would walk to the tanned man with the white markings again.

“All right.” Fenris watched the other fall asleep and quickly realized his own status. He hadn’t changed his clothes since the fight yesterday and they were heavy with sweat and grime. Stripping down, he tossed them in the wash again, heading for the shower.

He stood for a long while under the hot water, sorting through his thoughts and feelings over and over. If they were going to stay together, it would be stupid not to tether with Garrett. He wouldn’t have to drain the magic from his markings and they’d be able to touch without pain. It also meant that they couldn’t separate, not without great pain on his end. He remembered the first detox. He didn’t want to go through it again.

Stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist, he kept sifting through his mind, only finding more complicated thoughts to follow.

Garrett's dream shifted to a twinkling night sky. Fireflies danced around the clearing. He remembered this. His father would create them on clear nights so himself and his siblings could chase them. Little fireflies began to emit from his fingertips and dance about the motel room twinkling like a pleasant memory. He was sleep casting something he hadn’t done since he had been a child. 

A few went over to Fenris and circled around him before leaving him alone to dance above Garrett’s head.

Fenris was distracted when he spotted the spark of light float by his vision. Confused, he looked around to find more flitting around the room, congregating around Hawke. What were they? Magic, obviously, but not a hostile kind? He was wary of the little sparks and kept his distance, getting dressed.

The little fireflies soon vanished leaving the room dark again. Garrett was now sleeping without dreaming and quiet. He slept until the early morning hours and woke up and got up going into the bathroom to wash his face off. He walked back out pulling his coat on and leaving the room to go see if he could get food for Leliana leaving a sleeping Fenris to sleep.

Fenris dreamt most of the night without dreams, as usual. He slept between the sheets to keep Garrett from accidentally brushing against him. However, as Garrett left, his dreams returned. Never something he enjoyed.

“Do you think he’ll survive?” “He should. He’s our strongest candidate. If he doesn’t, we’ll have to find another plan.” Strapped down. Unable to move. Unable to speak. Some kind of drug. Where am I? Where’s Varania? Cuts. Up and down my arms. My legs. Needles. Something forced into them. Burning under the skin. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts! Can’t take it! Can’t think! Can’t breathe! Someone screams. It sounds familiar.

“STOP IT!” Fenris sat up quickly, breathing hard, his markings aching from the memory of the ritual. He holds his head in shaking hands, trying not to cry. It was just a dream. Just a dream.

Garrett was opened the door as he heard the man scream and quickly went int and over to him. “Fenris.” he breathed out and reached for him before stopping. He wouldn’t want to be touched. “Fenris…I…I’m here…I won’t..touch you unless you ask….talk to me.” he said trying to figure out how to help. His shoulder burned but he ignored it.

He needed to help him in any way he could.

Fenris flinched at first as Garrett rushed over, briefly seeing him as another mage with a knife and a needle. He told himself that Garrett was his friend, that he wanted to be more than a friend. But right now, his fear of magic was strong and it made him shrink away.

“…I don’t want to talk to  **you**  about it.” He hissed, knowing in his head that it was wrong to compare Garrett to them, but right now, he needed someone to hate. “…….Why? Why were these necessary?” He asked no one, staring at the white lines marring his arms, mocking him with their beauty.

”…..Why couldn’t I have died like the others?”

Garrett froze withdrawing his hands away. This was a moment he had no words for him. He couldn’t just make him forget this. He stayed next the bed trying to think of something to say to him. “I…don’t know what to say Fenris. I can’t make them vanish….I can’t erase what happened.” he said trying to say things that came to mind but they were all twisted and he lowered his head again.

“My mother told me….that life is our greatest trial and that if we can survive all the pain and suffering that we can truly enjoy the small things and see so much beauty in the world.” 

“What, so I had to suffer like this just so I could see the beauty in the world? Be treated like nothing more than a weapon for ten years just so I could enjoy the small things?” Fenris spat out the words, angry at the world, angry at the mages who’d done this to him. Magic was a menace. It shouldn’t exist. No one should be able to do this to another person.

“……They tried the ritual on other kids after me. None of them survived. I remember their screams….I remember feeling jealous when they stopped. Most people’s first memory is some birthday party or a classroom….Mine is the ritual.” Fenris confided, unable to stop once he started. “I might have family. I don’t know if they are in Minrathous or even if I’ve seen them again. I may have. I doubt they’d recognize me…..My hair used to black, they said. The ritual turned it white. Stress and poisoning from the serum. Point is I don’t know who they are or what my name used to be. My first memory is torture and the only thing I know is how to be a weapon. So tell me. What beauty is there in a world that makes someone like me?”

As Garrett listened he felt his heart tearing apart. Those mages had been monsters and he saw in a new light his hatred for mages. It was understandable now why he felt like this and that no matter what he would never look at him the way he felt. His hatred was so intense he would never see him more then a mage. It hurt and he wished he knew he could help but he didn’t, he didn’t any magic cure for this. He didn’t know how to help him. 

“I…I’ll leave you alone.” he said and got up and went out the door shutting it behind him. The evening breeze tickled his face and he began to walk. 

Fenris watched Garrett go, grateful at first to be left alone with his thoughts. What had he been thinking? He was a mage. The same kind of person who’d done this to him. He couldn’t change that. This dream was likely a warning from himself. He was a hunter for a reason. Magic should not exist. Not when it could hurt so many with so little.

……….But Garrett had never hurt him. Even when he’d had the chance to. He was known as one of the most ruthless hunters. Some were known to let “good” mages go from time to time. Maybe Garrett was the same way. A real good mage. He’d defended him, stayed with him, and healed him in a way. He knew about the experiments in the cities. It was part of why he didn’t take mages in. He’d rather kill them than make them go through something like what he’d lived through……..You didn’t have to be a mage to torture someone for your own ends.

* * *

 

 

Garrett walked down the street listening to the peoples idle chatter. Everything was so simple here and how he wished for something like this. To be able to walk about and have conversations with others and not have to worry about some hunter on his back or hiding his magic. Magic had gotten his father killed, killed his two siblings and in the end was his mothers cause of death. Hatred for magic was so invoked into the general public that it was impossible for mages to be able to come back from it. 

He turned a corner and kept walking heading towards the edge of the town. There was a park there he could relax in. He found a bench and sat down breathing in the fresh air and closing his eyes to simply think.

Fenris sighed, letting go of the anger he’d built up. He couldn’t let it blind him anymore. Garrett had done everything he could to earn his trust……It was about time that he gave it to him. When he came back, he’d tell him about the tether, see how he reacted and decide from there. He couldn’t be alone and live off of his hatred forever. Now that an alternative was in reach, he could see how it was killing him.

A few hours passed and Garrett sat on the bench watching little leaves fall onto the pond. He reached up and rubbed his nose feeling the birthmark and then shifted. He had to go back and soon. He couldn’t be out in the darkness it was unsafe. He got up from the bench and began to walk back to the motel. He took the long route trying to think of what to do when he got back. Maybe Fenris would be asleep again? He didn’t know. 

He arrived at the motel room and hesitated standing outside the door before entering.

Fenris was started to get worried about Garrett as the sun went down. He’d been out there for a long time. What if a hunter had gotten him ? Or another mage? Unable to sit still, he decided to go look for him.

Getting up from the bed, he opened the door and found Garrett standing there. “Ah….I was just going to look for you.”

Garrett froze when the door opened and Fenris stood there. “Sorry I ended up lost in thought for awhile.” he said stepping inside. He took his shoes and socks off and sat down on the bed. The door was shut and bolted and the room was oddly quiet. Garrett hated the silence and how uncomfortable the air felt in the room. “I should….shower.” he said breaking the silence and getting up to go to the bathroom.

Fenris didn’t know what else to say now that Hawke was back. He needed to tell him about the tether, see his reaction, but he was scared. If he reacted like he’d expect a mage to react, saw the lust for power in his eyes, what then? Separate? Kill him for his own safety? No. This was a matter of trust. He had to trust him.

“Garrett, hold on. There’s….something I need to tell you.”

Garrett stopped and slowly turned back to face him. Keep his calm and he tried to relax. “What is it?” he asked. Would he ask him to leave? Was he going to turn him in? All sorts of things ran through his head and he let out a shaky breath without thinking. His heart was beating hard in chest and he almost feared it was so loud Fenris would be able to hear it.

“There’s….a way for you to use my markings. It’s called a tether. It…Well, I don’t really know exactly what it does for you, but it keeps them from soaking up any magic around and you’d be able to touch me without harming me.” Fenris explained. “But if we do this, I can’t leave you. Not without a considerable amount of pain for many weeks as the tether breaks. It…was meant as a leash of sorts.”

He waited, half-expecting that look of worry to change to one that saw him as a weapon, a pet.

Garrett’s mind took in the information and he went blank for a moment. He rolled the information his mind before opening his mouth. “Is…that what you want…I…don’t want to chain you.” he said looking over at him. 

That sounded like the last thing Fenris would ever want. 

“I don’t know if it’s what I want, but if we are going to stay together, it’s the smart choice. It’s inconvenient for you to have drain my markings every few days and that we can’t touch each other. It’s only a problem if we part.” Fenris explained further, relieved at Garrett’s answer.

“I’m…considering it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I sit here making a long playlist for this story I get all sorts of emotional. Also for everyone to know. Hawke is a giant teddy bear who understands to let Fenris get comfortable first. So in the event of this budding romance Fenris will be the one to start anything due to Hawke not wanting to make the other uncomfortable.   
> Song of the chapter: Somebody to die for by Hurts


	6. Binding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is quite short in regards to previous chapters. For that I am sorry. But I'll try to update as much as I can.

Garrett shifted and looked at him. “I…I want to make sure…its ok with you before anything…it’s your choice here not mine.” he said. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly. It would mean some serious commitment and they would be together…well forever at that point. 

“I’ll think about it….I just…wanted you to know that it was an option.” Fenris answered. “You can go shower now.”

Garrett looked down at the floor. All his emotions were surging and he felt hot tears flowing down his face. He took a few deep breaths and looked back up at the male. His chest hurt so much he felt like it could burst. He just wanted to show him something more then words. 

He walked forward and kissed him lightly on the lips holding it for a few moments before pulling away and turning away and going to the bathroom shutting the door behind him.

Fenris started to back away as Garrett stepped towards him, not understanding his tears. His eyes opened wide as Garrett’s lips pressed against his again, just started to close and return the affection when he pulled away, leaving Fenris even more confused.

He stood in the middle of the room, confused for more than a few minutes. Sorting through his thoughts and the flutter in his chest, the main thing he understood from the kiss was that he hadn’t wanted it to end. Crossing to the bathroom, he pounded on the door. “Garret, get back out here!”

Garrett pulled his shirt off turning the hot water on and stripping down and stepping into the hot spray ignoring the bandages getting wet. He stayed under the heat letting the last of the tears fall down his face before picking up the shampoo and washing his face and beard and rinsed. He then heard banging on the door. 

He blinked leaning out of the water to listen. He hadn’t locked the door and tried to listen. 

Fenris could hear the shower running inside and assumed that he couldn’t hear him. Trying the door, he found it open and stepped inside. As he saw Hawke’s silhouette behind the shower curtain, he crossed the room without a word, throwing the curtain back. Storming into the shower, he pressed Garrett against the wall…

….and picked up where he’d left off, crushing his lips against the others in a desperate bid to understand just what he wanted. His clothes and hair grew damp under the water and the markings at his chin began to ache but he ignored it. He wanted this. He wanted Garrett in his life. 

Garrett heard the door squeak open and he turned his body to look. He stammered as the shower curtain was flown open and then he was pressed into the wall and hot lips pressed onto his his. The kiss was hot and intense and he so desperately wanted to hug the man close but the rational part of his brain and the embarrassed part was screaming. “Fenris…..your markings.” he managed to gasp between the kiss. He didn’t want to cause him pain. 

It didn’t help that he was naked as well. 

“Don’t care.” Fenris answered, using the kiss to sort himself out. He didn’t want to lose this, not ever. He enjoyed the time he spent with Garrett. He was worried about him when he’d left. He wanted to touch him without his skin burning and aching at the presence of magic. Finally he pulled away with a cry of pain, rubbing his chin. If he hadn’t been wearing his gloves, it would have been worse.

“….I want you to stay. So…tether with me.” He ordered, white hair turned grey and damp as it stuck to his head.

Garrett finally got to breath when Fenris pulled away using that moment to cover himself. He was overly embarrassed and so red in the face he could have been deemed a tomato. He then got worse with Fenris ordering him to tether with him. “I…can’t like this!” he squeaked. He had never been naked in front of another human being before and this situation wasn’t good for anyone’s health. 

“I need….a towel….please.” he squeaked.  

Fenris seemed to notice that Garrett was naked for the first time. Stepping out of the shower, he handed a towel to the other and took one for himself. “I…apologize. You can finish up first.” He said, heading back out of the bathroom, rubbing the towel in his hair.

He was really going to do this. He was going to tether with Garrett. He trusted the mage, wanted to keep him around. This would rid them of the inconvenience his markings caused. He just hoped that Garrett didn’t plan on leaving any time soon.

Garrett took a few minutes to calm down before stepping out and drying off and getting dressed into some clean clothes. He took a few breathes before walking out and over to the bed and sitting down awkwardly. “So….how does one tether?” he asked.

He had no idea how this would work and he was nervous. He really hoped this was what the other wanted. 

Fenris paused, trying to remember what the mages had done. It had been ten years, so it was more than a little fuzzy. He remembered them placing their hand on his chest and then it just….happened. He was sure that it was intuitive, like draining his markings had been.

“I don’t really know the details, but usually one would place their hand here.” He touched the center of his chest where a special mark was. “And it would just happen? I don’t really know the mage side of it.”

Garrett nodded taking a slow deep breath and looked to mark inspecting it. There was a bind there. The magic to tether it could be used in a variety of ways. He took a breath and lifted his hand. “I’m ready if you are.” he said. His heart was racing and his mind was trying to comprehend what was about to happen. 

Fenris nodded, the worst case scenarios rolling by in his head. Garrett wouldn’t use him like the other mages had. He had to trust him. He hadn’t told Garrett that this would hurt him, knowing that he’d refuse to do so if he knew. Closing his eyes, he braced himself for it. “Don’t stop halfway.” He warned.

Garrett nodded and his hands began to glow a light green and he brought his hands to chest feeling the bind and latching onto it. It was a surge that sent every nerve on end. It was like a power flux and he gasped out trying to keep focused on the binding. It moved through the others markings in an oddly intimate way.

“Nngh…” Fenris winced as the process started, feeling Garrett’s magic fill into the markings, singing his skin. It wasn’t like being shot and overloaded, but it was enough that he had to grab the mage’s shoulder for support. Just as quickly, he felt that power flow back out, establishing the infinite loop that Garrett’s power would flow through from now on. He grit his teeth, bearing the pain until he felt the tether binding him to another person again, a feeling he thought he’d have to endure again. It was too late to go back now.

Once the ritual ended, Fenris’s knees gave out from under him. Now, was the hard part. The loop had to restart again and flow continuously this time. He knew that once it was, it wouldn’t hurt but–

“Aggh!” Fenris couldn’t hold back the cry of pain as the blow back started, all of Garrett’s newly powered magic flowing back through him, his markings shining with it. He curled in on himself, gritting his teeth in pain until it stopped. His markings flowed the power through them and back to Garrett now in the process they were made for, granting him a reprieve from the dull ache he’d grown used to over ten years as they searched for magic to absorb.

Garrett jumped as he cried out and quickly went to hold him without thinking. ”Fenris!” He held onto him and kept his close to himself and he shuddered. When he finally stopped shaking he lightly pulled them apart so he could see his face. “Are you ok?” he asked. He was nervous for him. Had this been a giant mistake?

He gently took his hands off the other in case it caused him pain.

“I’m….fine now.” Fenris answered, the magic in his markings flowing like liquid, looking like water was running down his arms. It was comfortable. They didn’t ache or burn. He’d forgotten what it was like to not always be in pain.

“They don’t hurt any longer.” He explained, picking himself off the ground. “I apologize for not telling you of the effects on me. I feared you’d refuse.”

Garrett frowned. “It worried me.” he said getting off the ground as well and sitting on the bed. He looked at him and shifted. “Do you feel ok?” he asked again looking him over. He didn’t seem as tense as before and he looked more comfortable. “I hoped I helped.”

He shifted on the bed fidgeting now. He felt unsure how to react to such a situation.

“Yes. I hadn’t realized how they ached until now.” Fenris explained. Reaching out to Garrett, he rubbed his cheek as he had before, the contact only bringing a light tingle rather than the slow burn. He could feel the tie between them, strong now, but if they separated, it would weaken both of them….well, Garrett’s power would just revert to normal.

“We…have to stay together now. The distance we can be separated is about as wide as the city, so we can still run errands and such. But we’ll feel it if we pull too far.” Fenris explained.

Garrett blushed as he touched his cheek. His words washed over him and he blinked and nodded. “Then…I can..” he breathed out before pulling Fenris close into a awkward hug and kissing him. He held the kiss longer then before and kept the male close. If Fenris wanted to pull away he could right now he just wanted to kiss him without fear. 

“Nnff…!” Garrett surprised Fenris as he was suddenly pulled down to his level, another kiss pressed to him. He quickly adjusted, pushing Garrett back and moving on top of him on the bed to take the strain off of his back. His markings hummed where they touched the other in a pleasing tingle. Wanting more contact, he pulled off his gloves, holding the other’s face as he indulged in human touch. 

Garrett felt like his heart could burst from his chest he was so happy. He kept kissing him before pulling away to breath and the dorkiest smile covered his face. He gently pulled him into a hug keeping him on top of him and smiled. “Can we cuddle?”

Cuddle? Fenris wasn’t used to being touched, especially for any length of time. Still, he liked this. Garrett’s touch made him feel alive now, though he was sure most of that was just the tingle in his markings.

“….All right.” He reluctantly agreed, making himself comfortable on top of the larger man.

Garrett smiled and wrapped his arms around him and sighed happily. This was nice. He felt warm and tingly and very content like this. Slowly he became more and more tired though and while still holding him fell asleep.

Fenris slowly relaxed into Garrett’s grasp, accepting the touch. His markings hummed under his hands, his body complete with magic running through it. Exhausted from the ritual and the high tensions leading up to it, Fenris fell asleep as well, Garrett’s presence keeping the nightmares at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always loved. Also to everyone who wants to ask questions my tumblr is realityincolor.tumblr.com


	7. Town on the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So moving forward a bit. I really should re-name this series 'How many times can we hurt Hawke in this series'

Garrett slept soundly and somehow in the middle of sleeping adjusted them so Fenris was next to him and he clung to his arm as they slept. His dreams were colorful and warm and as he slept pulled a sheet over the both of them. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in a very long time.

Fenris stirred as Garrett rolled over, but fell back asleep quickly. His body didn’t want him to move, soaking in the closeness that he’d denied for so long. In the morning, he woke feeling well-rested and energized, a new feeling.

Garrett was clinging to Fenris’s arm a bit of drool running out of his mouth. When Fenris shifted he pulled his arm closer nuzzling it and curling up slightly. He mumbled and didn’t awake and kept a grip on the males arm. He wanted to keep the happiness close as long as he could.

“…..Garrett, I need to get up.” Fenris insisted, trying to pull away. He could pull himself out if he used his strength, but he didn’t want to wake him.

Garrett heard the male speak and he only hugged his arm more. “No the scary mage demands cuddles and will hold your arm hostage.” he said with a small smirk playing on his lips. He hoped he’d hear the other male chuckle at that.

Fenris chuckled as expected at the joke. “You don’t seem all that scary to me and I can always just pull my arm through you if I really want to go.” He reminded.

Garrett whined loudly and looked up at him giving him puppy eyes. “I don’t wanna let go your warm and soft to hold.” he said quickly moving and taking the man into another hug with a giggle. This was the best. He felt happy holding this man. He could forget all his worries and just feel some happiness.

Fenris grumbled as he was pulled even more into the other’s grip, trapped in a warm embrace. It was comfortable, yes, but…..His stomach growled reminding him that he hadn’t eaten much since yesterday. “….I really need to get some food.”

Garrett heard that grumble and with a chuckle let him go. “Promise you’ll come back?” he asked as he watched him get up and pulled a pillow over so he could prop himself up and watch. His own stomach growled and he giggled. 

“I have to, don’t I?” Fenris reminded him. Pulling himself free before Garrett grabbed him again, he headed to Leliana to pick up breakfast, a small smile on his face. She commented on the change, but Fenris said nothing. It was just easier to smile without the constant ache on his skin.

Garrett got up going into the bathroom and washing his face and brushing his teeth. He looked himself over trying to figure out if he looked alright. He had never been self conscious before…well he had never had someone like Fenris. How did one even do this? Was there a book? Maybe he could get a book on this kind of situation. He walked back out and sat down on the bed.  

Returning with a cart full of food, Fenris set aside his usual breakfast of bacon and toast on the table. “Leliana gave some extra today.” He informed him, leaving out that it was on account of him “finally smiling for once.”

Garrett smiled and pulled the cart over and began to eat. “She is great.” he said with a mouth full of food. He gave him a smile and kept eating. A few minutes went by and then a soft knock if not panicked came to the door. Garrett looked over then to Fenris.

Fenris notes the worried look in the other’s eyes and gets up, motioning for him to be quiet. Picking up his gun, he peeks through the hole to see Leliana. With a sigh of relief, he opens the door. “What’s wrong?” He asks, seeing the panicked look on her face.

“You both need to leave for awhile the hunters are coming soon to check the rooms to check for mages. I called ahead to a friend of mine to the east and she can have you there for awhile.” she said looking around as she spoke quickly.

Fenris looked back to Garrett. He couldn’t lose him now. “Do you have a safe route? If not, I can claim Garrett as my mark for capture.” He didn’t like relying on others, especially for something this important. If they ran into hunters on the way there, he supposed he could try the same thing though.

She nodded. “Get ready and meet me downstairs in a few minutes.” she said and the door was shut. Garrett shifted and got up starting to get properly dressed. He threw some things into a bag and looked back at him.

Fenris packed his essentials into his bag and picked up his gun. “We’ll follow the route Leliana’s friend has for us, but we’ll pretend I’m taking you in for my contract. If we are seen by hunters, they won’t question that.” He explained, leading Garrett out of the motel by the tip of his gun.

Garrett went down the steps slowly and they came to a truck with a covered back. Leliana looked over and opened the back for them. Inside was secure and had a comforter down. “The trip will last two days….Varric here will drive and get you both there safety.”

“All right.” Fenris nodded, leading Garrett into the truck and following after, taking the spot near the back where he could keep watch. If any hunters grew suspicious, this was their van back to Kirkwall where he’d turn in his contract. 

“Garrett, if we’re caught, I’m going to have to put the cuffs on you again.” He warned. “No one should suspect us if they think you’re my prisoner.”

Garrett nodded at his words before looking to the driver and smiling. “My main man Varric.” he said and the man looked back with a loud snort. “Hawke still getting into trouble?” he asked with a large smirk. “Always how is Bianca?” Garrett asked. Varric pulled a crossbow up and pet it. “She’s always itching for some action as always.” he said. 

A few minutes later they were driving. 

Fenris watched the exchange, surprised to find that Hawke had so many friends in the city. “Friends of yours?” He asked, looking over the crossbow Varric had hefted up. It was nice, but it stood no chance against a good gun without a good vantage point. The main advantage of bows in this day and age was that they were silent. Once people knew your location, they were useless.

“I met Varric when I was in Kirkwall he works with a lot of the higher business guys that go way back to when it was called the merchants guild.” he said looking back to Fenris. “Hawke here was good for stories and jokes I even wrote a best seller after him great for all my fantasy readers.” Varric said with a low chuckle. Garrett laughed. “I’d kiss you Varric but Bianca stands in my way yet again.” he joked. “What can I say she’s the jealous type.”

Fenris listened to the talk with Garrett’s friend, cracking a smile. He’d never been one to have friends. Some of the hunters worked in groups, but he’d never seen the point. He did better on his own. Since his escape from the mages, Garrett had been the first person he trusted, his first friend….and now maybe more than that if that kiss was to be believed.

Garrett chattered away for awhile before finally sitting back and smiling at Fenris. “Varric is a great guy and he’s also super connected.” he said. He was glad to be in such pleasant company. He reached over touching Fenris’s hand without thinking and tightly traced little lines on his skin. He was happy he could touch him like this.  

“Good that he’s with us then.” Fenris agreed. He didn’t flinch away when Garrett took his hands, his magic tingling pleasantly against the markings now that they were attuned to him. “That feels nice.” He explained, knowing Garrett could only tell that they didn’t hurt.

Garrett giggled slightly and brought a hand up and kissed it softly before placing them back down. He smiled at him. This was nice and oddly content. They drove for a few hours before coming to a rest stop. Varric got out to fill up the tank and Garrett lay on his back. He looked over at Fenris. “You could get out and stretch your legs if you wanted to.”

Fenris considered it. There would be nothing strange about seeing him with a truck. His legs were getting stiff. “…All right. I’ll stay close.” He decided, jumping out of the back. Stretching out his arms, he scanned the perimeter. Didn’t seem too crowded and he didn’t recognize anyone…though he didn’t know many of the hunters from this area.

Garrett stretched out in the back breathing lightly. He felt happy and giddy. It was a good feeling. He felt safe and happy around the other. Varric left the truck to go inside and pick up snacks leaving Garrett all alone in the back of the truck. 

Fenris stayed by the truck to guard Garrett. If he was taken, not only would he be in for a world of pain, but he’d lose his first friend…and his first something more too. 

A few minutes later Varric walked back with three paper bags and handed two of them to Fenris. “Here you go broody one for you and Hawke.” he said with a rather charming smile. Inside both bags was some food and water bottles. Varric got back into the truck and waited on Fenris. 

Fenris took the bags from Varric and got back in the truck. Handing one to Garrett, he set himself up at the exit again, ready for pursuers in case their cover was less stable than he thought.

Garrett watched Fenris as they drove taking in his features and then smiling. He crawled over and placed his head in his lap looking up at him with a dorky grin. “So….how are you feeling?”

“Apprehensive, as you should be.” Fenris reminded him, unable to help a tiny smile at the affection. Gently, he ruffled the mage’s dark hair. Setting his gun down beside him, he opened the lunch Varric had gotten him. He’d need the energy.

Another hour later and Varric cursed from the front seat and slowed down pulling over to the side of the road. Garrett perked up and almost shrank back down. There was a hunter check point up ahead checking every vehicle. Garrett looked to Fenris unsure what to do. Varric went over to the glove box and pulled out a pass. “Broody I recommend using cuffs.” Varric said looking back.

Fenris picked himself up, looking out the front of the truck. A hunter checkpoint…He’d have to use his plan after all. “Garrett, you’ll have be my prisoner again.” He decided, pulling out the cuffs and snapping them on Garrett’s wrists. If they asked questions, he’d have to treat Garrett as he had before. It wouldn’t be pretty, especially with his reputation. “…Whatever I say or do while we’re here, I don’t mean it. All right?”

Garrett sat down looking at the cuffs. The restraint on his magic was uncomfortable like not being able to breathe properly. Varric adjusted Bianca in the front seat and pulled up to the check point rolling down his window and flashing one of his award flashing smiles. He spoke casually with the man at the window as another moved to the back and opened it to look in. 

Fenris sat across from Garrett, keeping his gun trained on his head. As the door to the back opened, he glared at the hunter inspecting. “Go find your own hunt.” He snipped, pulling out his ID for verification. “I have a contract for a live mage. I’m taking him to the next town to trade him in.”

The hunter took his ID looking it over before handing it back. His eyes went over to Hawke and he narrowed his gaze. “This one is trouble I know him I wouldn’t bother taking him in alive.” the man snipped. Garrett shifted. This hunter he remembered his face well enough. That man had tried to kill a friend of his so he had hit him over the head with a large tree branch. Garrett looked away feeling uncomfortable. The man walked back to the both to type something into a computer then came back looking at Fenris. “So care to tell me why there is a canceled bring in alive order on your record?”

The air turned icy in an instant and Garrett had half a mind to call for Varric. 

Fenris felt his heart drop at his faulty memory, quickly recovering. “He got away. You know I don’t usually take them in alive. I canceled the contract, but found him again in that rebellion earlier. I thought I’d renew it when we got to the next town. If I can’t, I can still trade him in for money like any of you.” His demeanor turned just as cold as the atmosphere. It was easy to slip into this…almost frightfully so. Partway through, it stopped feeling like a lie.

Garrett felt his heart racing. Varric had turned back to look at the situation. “Fellas’ no need for hostility here just making a drop.” he said with a charming smile. The hunter looked over at him making a face. “I will question a hunter who normally kills on sight, what’s wrong Fenris are you going soft?” he asked voice filled with a bile. If the air could have gotten any tenser it would have. Both parties were cold and simmering. He shifted back slowly now feeling scared of what would happen.

Fenris didn’t flinch from the hunter’s challenge, the accusation of going soft getting to him. It was only Garrett. Any other mage in his sights would be taken out. “I need a new apartment.” He shrugged, aiming the gun for Garrett’s leg as he tried to get away and pulling the trigger with a silent apology. The sound of gunfire echoed in the truck and over the checkpoint. “And you aren’t getting away from me again.” 

Garrett watched his expression and how cold his eyes seemed. The sound hit his ears first and then pain. He screamed going down on his side. Varric swore loudly from the front. The hunter seemed to back off slightly. “Alright get out of here.” he said closing up the back. Garrett lay there sobbing quietly. It burned and the scent of blood hit his nose making him feel sick. Being cut off from his magic made it even worse. Varric was given his pass back and the truck slowly pulled forward the only sounds being the motor and Garrett’s quiet crying. Once they were out of hearing range Varric was the first to talk. “Are you kidding me! You shot him in the leg.” Varric yelled.

Fenris started to realize what he’d done as they pulled away, Garrett’s crying reaching his ears. “I know I did! If I’d shot the hunter or they thought I was protecting Garrett, the whole outpost would have attacked us. Even I can’t fight that many!” He defended, setting his gun aside and going to Hawke. “I’m sorry. I’ll help you heal this.” He promised, unlatching the cuffs and returning them to his belt. Luckily, his bullet hadn’t torn through Garrett’s leg. It was stopping most of the bleeding where it was stuck inside him. “I can get it out….How much healing magic do you know?” 

“I know only a little.” Garrett managed to choke out. He was holding in the desire to pull at the magic to heal himself. He was at least mildly in shock from the bullet. He sat up looking down at his leg as Fenris moved the jean up to expose the wound. When Fenris gave him a look he knew what was coming. He looked away and then yelled out when the bullet was removed. Without thinking his magic surged for a moment to stop the bleeding and start healing up. 

“That should be enough.” Fenris nodded. It was only a problem if he didn’t know any. Rummaging through his bag, he pulled out bandages and the tool he’d used before. As carefully as he could, he pulled the bullet from Garrett’s leg. Almost immediately, he felt Garrett pulling the magic from his markings, a subtle glow emanating from them as they activated. Unlike a forced use, this didn’t hurt…as long as Garrett didn’t take too much. Looking at his leg, the wound had stopped bleeding and was starting to heal. “That’s right…..Use me.” He encouraged, cupping Garrett’s cheek with a gently glowing hand.

Tears ran down his face as the magic surged. He heard Fenris speak and then quickly froze the pull of his magic. “I…don’t want to use you.” he sniffled. He leaned into his touch still sniffling and looked at him. The wound was in a safe zone now at least. He averted his eyes from the wound and looked back to Fenris. “Am I gonna be able to walk?”

“I didn’t break any bones, but it will need a tight bandage and you’ll have a limp at best.” Fenris explained, looking it over. “Unless you heal it the rest of the way.” The glow had faded as soon as Garrett cut off his pull on his markings. “If something like earlier happens and we have to run, you won’t be able to. It doesn’t hurt me, Garrett. I want to help you.” Right now, giving him the boost in power needed to heal himself was all he could do.

Garrett sniffled and looked at him. “Can I have a hug?” he asked. It was such a small thing and so out of the blue. The desire for human contact and warmth was driving him currently. When he had been small his mother always said hugs were the best medicine. He shifted waiting for his answer. 

A hug? He needed to heal more, now wasn’t the time for- Seeing Garrett’s face made Fenris pause. He’d just shot the man in the leg for the sake of keeping their cover. He owed him whatever he wished. 

“All right.” He conceded, avoiding his wounded leg as he leaned in close, pulling his arms around the mage. “…But this means you have to finish healing the wound.” He mumbled against his chest.

Garrett relaxed into the hug. “OK.” he said softly and kept hugging him. A few minutes later they finally separated and he looked down at his leg and took a breath pulling at the magic again. The wound closed up and a light tingle ran over his leg and finally it was healed over. He leaned back stopping the magic. Varric looked back for a moment. “You gonna be ok Hawke?” he asked. “Yeah.” he responded. 

Fenris allowed the hug to continue, starting to enjoy it himself. Had Garrett always been this warm? He almost didn’t want to pull away, but Garrett still needed to heal. He felt the rest of the power stored in his markings getting sucked back through the link he had with Garrett. He winced a little in the final stages, trying to hide the sharp pain as Garrett demanded magic that he didn’t have and the markings made up the deficit with his life.  He couldn’t tell him that could happen. Just them hurting was enough for the man to treat him like he was made of glass. 

“I’m sorry.” Fenris apologized again. Even if Hawke would be all right, the fact remained that he’d shot him. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” Closing the distance between them again, he pulled Hawke into a kiss, settling on his lap.

Garrett felt better after the hug and now that his leg wasn’t burning that was an added bonus. He smiled to him and was about to tell him something when his lips met the others. It was warm and soft and he melted into it. Fenris slid into his lap and he felt tingling go down his body. He awkwardly held him close and kissed back. It was nice and he relaxed even more then before. 

“Alright kids keep it PG back there I don’t want to blind Bianca with all this.” Varric chuckled from the front seat. 

Fenris didn’t want to stop, captivated by the closeness he’d never allowed himself. Garrett was warm and sturdy, his skin tingled against his markings as he cupped his cheeks. Straddling his legs, he deepened the kiss, nipping his lips to get him to open his mouth. He hummed in satisfaction, running a hand back through Hawke’s hair.

Hawke’s brain was starting to fry from everything that was happening. Fenris was warm and comfortable yet the new sensations were freaking him out. He didn’t understand the nipping at his lips and tried to think what he should be doing and awkwardly parted his lips slightly. The hand running through his hair felt oddly soothing though.

Fenris took the opportunity as Garrett parted his lips, slipping his tongue inside with a sigh. It was like he couldn’t stop. He just wanted more of him and he didn’t know if it was the tingle in his skin or the tightness in his chest that pushed him to take more. 

Garrett was trying to figure out what to do with himself. The feeling of the others tongue in his mouth was warm and made the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge. His hands moved and stayed on the truck bed not knowing where they should go. He pulled back a bit. “Fenris?”

Feeling Garrett pull back, Fenris was suddenly aware of how he wasn’t touching him back. He’d been treated like a thing with the mages….in more ways than one. He didn’t want to end up like them and take advantage of Garrett’s kindness.

“I’m sorry….Did I go too fast?” He asked, letting go of him.

Garrett looked at him shifting. “I don’t know what to do….like…where do my hands go?” he asked looking unsure of himself. He didn’t know what to do in this kind of situation. He averted his gaze suddenly feeling self conscious. “Sorry I’m new to this…” 

“….It’s fine.” Fenris assured him. He hadn’t chosen to be experienced with this. “Just…do what comes naturally. If I don’t like it, I’ll tell you. If you don’t like it, tell me.” He explained plainly. He wasn’t sure where this would go, but after that taste….he’s avoided human touch for so long. He’d forgotten how good it could feel….if there was ever a time it had felt good.

Garrett nodded. “Can’t you two wait till we get there before having a rolling time?” Varric asked from the front. He sounded more amused then annoyed though. Garrett blushed a bright tomato red and looked to Fenris. “I….” he stuttered. 

Fenris chuckled, accepting that this wasn’t the time or the place. “We’ll wait, Varric. But only to protect Bianca’s innocence.” He joked, sitting next to Garrett. His mind started to think back to how awkward he’d been, his question about what to do. “….This is your first time, isn’t it, Garrett?”

Varric chuckled from the front. “We’ll be there in the morning.” he said. Garrett let out small breath of relief and shifted as Fenris sat beside him. It was nice and comforting. When Fenris asked the question his face went red again and he began to sputter slightly. “Well..I..I..uh…well.” he stuttered.

Fenris couldn’t help a smile at Hawke’s stuttering. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He chuckled. “It’s all right. It actually…makes things easier for me.” If Hawke wasn’t going to press for anything, he didn’t have to worry about….that happening. With a pained expression, he tried to force down memories he’d long since buried as they tried to make themselves known.

Garrett blinked watching him. “Did…something happen in the past?” he asked carefully. He didn’t want to pry and if Fenris didn’t want to talk about it that would be ok. He awkwardly placed his arm around him in an attempt of comfort. “You don’t need to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.” 

“………..” It did make Fenris uncomfortable, but he wanted to be honest with Garrett. He’d stop if it got to be too much. “….This….isn’t my first time, but not by choice. If I’d had my way, I would be the same as you.” He spoke quietly so Varric wouldn’t hear over the sound of the truck. “The mages never saw me as anything but a tool….and I had many uses.” The familiar hate welled up at the thought and his fingers curled into fists. Normally, this would be when he’d stalk off after a lead to rid the world of more poisonous magic.

Garrett was quiet for a minute or so the gears in his brain turning. He then pulled Fenris closer and held him in a tight embrace. There were no words he could say to change what had happened. He had heard of such things and they were terrible. “We don’t need to do anything that’d make you uncomfortable.” he said softly. 

Fenris stiffened as Garrett suddenly pulled him close, the hate that had welled up dissipating. At Garrett’s promise, he softened, resting his head against his shoulder. “……Thank you.” The man holding him easily had the power to force himself on him, but he knew Garrett well enough by now to know that he wouldn’t use it. Part of him was still afraid, but he would not break his trust in the mage now just because of a few memories. 

The drive was silent into the night and Garrett ended up falling asleep with his arm still around the other. Varric shifted from the front seat. “So Broody I have a question for you what’s your intention with Hawke?” As a concerned friend he was more then put off with this hunter. “Normally I would be fine with any hunter turning over to help mages but your not exactly doing that you’d still shoot a mage if given the chance, so you can see my concern here.”

Fenris could see why Varric was concerned. It was a valid question. “Garrett saved my life. Even I couldn’t repay that with death or imprisonment….and then he….grew on me. While I have not abandoned my hunt for mages, I wish him no harm, despite previous events.” Varric didn’t need to know about his markings or the tether that now bound them. He couldn’t leave Garrett even if he wanted to now.

Varric seemed uncomfortable with his answer. “Listen here broody where were going there are a few mages Hawke calls friend and last thing we need is drama.” he said picking his words carefully. “Are you going to kill those mages if you meet them?” he asked carefully. Here would be the deciding moment.

Fenris paused, thinking over his answer carefully. They were Garrett’s friends, so he hoped they were like him, but they were still mages. “…Not on sight.” He started. “But I will watch them carefully. If they don’t do anything to me, they should be safe.”

Varric sighed. Good enough. “Just keep your gun away and everyone will be fine.” he said and turned back to the road. The rest of the night passed and in the early morning they pulled into a small city on the coast. Varric pulled into a small parking lot and turned the engine off. “We are here.” he said getting out taking Bianca with him. It was a tavern with apartments over it. 

Varric walked up to the door and knocked three times. A thin woman with a short hair opened the door. A bright smile formed on her face. “Oh Varric hello how are you?” she said. Garrett who had woken up quickly got out and went over taking the woman into a hug. “Merrill it’s been so long.” he said happily. 

Fenris hung back, letting Garrett and Varric meet with their friends….and so he could judge them for himself. Just being around one mage had been difficult. Now he’d be staying with…he didn’t know how many. What if this was the trap Garrett had been setting the whole time, luring him in with sweet words and false kindness? Especially since he was rather well known. White hair, tan skin, white ‘tattoos’…The description of the “Little Wolf” was passed around the mages so they’d steer clear.

Finally getting out of the truck, he pulled on his jacket and gloves to cover the markings below his neck. His hand rested at the gun latched on his side, finger on the safety. Every instinct in his body was telling him not to go in, that mages only grew more cruel in groups and one of them already knew his secret. Still, he had to try to trust Garrett, so he climbed the stairs.

Once inside they were brought to the main apartment. Merrill went off to get the owner while Varric sat back. Garrett looked happy and turned to Fenris with a smile. “You’ll love it here, everyone is great.” he said. A few minutes later a beautiful woman walked out with Merrill in only an oversized t-shirt. “Garrett fucking Hawke.” she said walking over and punching his shoulder before hugging him. “Hi to you Isabela.” he chuckled. After they parted she then saw Fenris and walked over to him.

“You must be Fenris, Leliana said another was coming she however failed to mention how..attractive he was.” he said. Garrett snorted. “Stop flirting Isabela.” he chuckled. “I can admire can’t I?” she asked with a devilish grin.

“I’ll take your word on that.” Fenris answered, walking into the main room. He could feel magic in the woman who’d opened the door, though she seemed friendly. The second woman he sensed nothing from, for which he was grateful. A few non-mages around meant that they weren’t the type to only hang around with other mages, which usually led to talks of taking over.

The woman’s flirting caught him off-guard and he flustered a bit before answering. “Yes, I’m Fenris. Isabela, was it?” He asked, holding out his left hand. His right had yet to leave his gun.

She cooed slightly shaking his hand. “You have such a nice grip and pretty eyes.” she said with a soft smirk. She was smart and noticed the gun early on and at that pulled him a bit closer so she could whisper in his ear. “AS much as I don’t mind an armed hunter in my home I have another one here that will mind and make quite a fuss over it you might want to put it somewhere safe.” she whispered before pulling back with a smile. 

She broke the grip going to the kitchen. “Kitten help me make something for everyone?” she asked and the other woman quickly went to help her. 

Fenris only grew more tense at the suggestion of putting his gun away. Sure, he wouldn’t technically be unarmed, but mages rarely dealt in hand to hand combat. He didn’t care of one of the mages would be wary of him. They should be. The only reason the woman earlier was alive was because she was Garrett’s friend. He was not leaving himself in a den of magic with only his strength and his markings for protection. If this other mage wished to make it a problem, he’d do what he had to.

A little while later and food was brought out for them. They all sat and ate and talked. “So Hawke I have to know how was Kirkwall?” Isabela asked eating her toast. He scratched at his beard that was now growing back. “Pretty shitty actually they have started this kind of prison system for mages and it’s pretty bad.” he said sipping his coffee. He reached over and pushed him lightly. “That’s why you stay here idiot.” she chuckled. 

“Why the hell is he here?” he voice asked. A man with blonde hair and a cat in his arms stood in the doorway to the room looking ready to defend himself at any moment. “Anders you finally woke up.”

Fenris was finally starting to settle in as they ate, fighting the urge to voice his opinion that such a prison system was necessary. This wasn’t a safe place to say such things. He just ate quietly, listening and glad that no one had recognized him yet.

The voice that suddenly rang through the room could only be directed at him. Looking up, he immediately sensed the magic that the man was barely restraining from hurling at him. Out of reflex, his hand went to his gun. The mages might be calm now, but if he was hit with something bad, seeing him so weak could prompt a quick change. “…I’m a guest.” He answered tentatively, flicking the safety off with a soft click.

Garrett quickly stood up going between them. “Anders long time no see how is Ser Pounce A Lot?” he asked quickly. Anders was glaring for a moment before looking to Garrett. “He’s quite well in fact there are kittens right now.” he said. Garrett quickly perked up. “I want to see.” he said and with some pushing made Anders take him to see them. 

Isabela sighed and looked over to Fenris. “That’s who I meant.”

Fenris sighed with relief as Garrett directed the mage out of the room, flicking the safety back on. “I can see what you mean.” Seeing the other mage only strengthened his desire to remain armed. The contempt in his voice was familiar and nevermeant something good. “Did Varric or Leliana not say what I was?"

“I know what you are I just had some hope since you were traveling with our dear Garrett that you would see….how sensitive the situation is…Anders isn’t found of hunters one killed the one he loved right in front of him so you have to understand why he is at odds but of course you haven’t been all peachy with mages either.” Isabela said looking at the marks that peaked out from his shirt. 

“I’m sure everything will be fine Anders is so nice and can be quite charming I’m sure you’ll get along.” Merrill said with a large smile on her face. Varric snorted. “Daisy you always did see the better in people.”

Fenris held back his thought that any decent hunter would have killed the both of them. He doubted the two of them would become friends, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to fight the man. “…I just hope he keeps control.”

A little while later Varric went to go check on Anders and Garrett. Garrett was laying on the floor letting the kittens crawl over him like an obstacle course. He would giggle now and then went they went to his face. “Get Fenris.” he said and Varric rolled his eyes walking back out. “Hey Broody, Hawke wants to show you something.”

Fenris wasn’t sure about heading to anywhere Anders was, but he still pulled himself up and headed for the room Varric had just come from. “Garrett, I don’t think–” He cut himself off as he took in the sight of Garrett entirely covered in kittens. Unable to hold back a chuckle, the tension he’d been feeling broke. “Just what are you doing?”

He looked over with a giant smile on his face. “I’m now the kitten training ground.” he chuckled. One kitten saw Fenris and wobbled over to him and sniffed his foot before looking up at him and meowing loudly. “I think he wants you pick him up.” Varric said in an amused tone. 

Fenris squatted down to look at the kitten more closely. He’d never been popular with animals. It seemed like most of them thought he smelled wrong. The markings probably did something to his scent that told them he was dangerous. This little one didn’t seem afraid though. Gently, he picked it up, holding it safely in his gloved hands.

The kitten meowed and got comfortable and began to purr. Small vibration ran through his glove from the small animal. A tough little black and white kitten. Garrett smiled looking at him. “There you go you have another friend now.” he said slowly taking kittens off of himself so he could get up.

“I suppose so.” Fenris agreed, holding the kitten to his chest. He doubted their journey was any place for a cat. It would probably be better off here with the others. “Though I’m sure it would prefer to stay here.”

The kitten nibbled on his thumb and purred louder. He chuckled. “I don’t know he seems to like you a lot.” he said with a smile. A few minutes later and they were shown to the rooms. “Hawke you have the biggest bed because your long legs and fat ass.” Isabela smirked giving Hawke a room and then turned to Fenris. “We have a corner room with a great view if you’d like that one.”

Fenris was surprised at the promise of his own room. He’d just started to get used to sharing with Garrett, feeling him next to him in the bed. “If it’s free…I shared with Garrett before if not.” He suggested.

She lifted an eyebrow in amusement. “I have a lot of rooms so you can have space all to yourself.” she said. She showed him the room. Inside was a simple full size bed with a view of the ocean. It was warm and comfortable inside. “You have a dresser and a closet and I’m picking stuff up today so you can tell me your size so I can get you new clothes.”

Even if Fenris had said no she still managed to get his size and later that evening came back with loads of new things for the place. Garrett was just happy to have lounge pants. Fenris was handed new pants, shirts, the works. 

Fenris looked around the room, a little glad to have a space to himself. He assured Isabela that he didn’t need any new clothes, but she still arrived in the evening with them. Apparently, just a good look was enough for her to tell his size.

Still, she handed him essentially a new wardrobe. “I can’t pay you back for all this right now…” He said apologetically. He had to ration the money he had to live off of since he wouldn’t be actively hunting for a while.

She laughed. “No need to pay me back just help out around here that’s all I ask.” she said. She smiled and left him to the room. A little later they were in the kitchen cooking and Isabela was showing him how to properly mince garlic. Garrett was making some stew when Anders walked in. “I’m surprised he hasn’t murdered you yet Hawke seeing as your a mage and the one thing he hates.” he said walking over to him and saying it loud enough for Fenris to hear. 

“Anders don’t be mean he’s not all doom and gloom he’s actually nice.” Garrett said making a face. “Right I bet he can’t wait to put a bullet in Merrill and me then.”  

Fenris was focused on the cooking lesson, only knowing a few campfire dishes for now. Getting called a murderer was something he was used to, but not something he’d been expecting at the moment. He stopped chopping, glaring at Anders in the doorway. Clearly, the mage didn’t appreciate the restraint he was showing.

“Just you. Merrill hasn’t been taunting me since I got here.” Fenris snipped, his hand dropping to his weapon in case he needed it. The mage seemed ready to strike him at any time whenever he was around.

Anders glared at him and the light in the living room flickered. “Anders stop go help Merrill with the silverwear and Fenris please don’t just don’t.” Isabela pleaded. Anders turned and left in a huff. Garrett frowned. “WHy is he like this he’s never like this.”he mumbled. 

Fenris clicked off the safety as the lights flickered, about to draw his gun when Isebela broke them apart. With a sigh of relief, he flipped it back on. “I’ll stop when he does. If he attacks me, I will defend myself.” Fenris insisted. “I don’t know what Anders is usually like, Garrett, but he’s clearly not as calm about this as you or Merrill.”

Garrett walked over gently taking Fenris’s hand. “Please…at least try to be nice…I’ll talk to him.” he said and let go before leaving the stew to simmer and went to go talk to Anders. He brought Anders into the other room and they talked for awhile before coming back out for dinner. They all sat at the table and began to eat. 

Anders only spoke when asking for something at the table and Garrett seemed better with lighter tensions now. Afterward they all went to get ready for bed. 

“…..All right.” Fenris accepted. He’d be nice to Anders if Anders stopped threatening him. He was too vulnerable here to be comfortable, even with his gun. He enjoyed the quiet dinner and went back to his room immediately after, looking forward to some time alone after having Garrett at his side 24/7. Closing the door, he pulled off his gloves and jacket, exposing the markings he so hated.

Garrett flopped down on his bed with a groan of relief. He was so tired and it was nice to finally have some time to relax. He stripped down to his under clothes and got under the covers not caring about a thing at the moment. He just want to get some sleep. It was weird though to be sleeping alone after being next to another for so long but he easily enough passed out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always loved. My tumblr is realityincolor is anyone has any questions.


	8. Not As It Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the person who sent me a long message via tumblr. Yes you are right that something is not right with Garrett and it will be explored in later chapters. So let it be known to everyone that Garrett Hawke is not what he seems.   
> Also holy handjobs

Fenris slipped into the bed, curling up on his side. The bed felt cold without Garrett already in it. Still, his exhaustion let him forget everything, the mages in the house, the cold, and he just slept…..for a time. Apparently, his mind had grown used to another beside him and with the threat of magic in the same house, the nightmares returned as vivid as ever. This time, Garrett was among his torturers. His scream of pain and betrayal as he relived the ritual echoed on the walls.

Like a light Garrett woke up hearing at first loud pants. He got up walking to his door and opening it and heard the noises coming from Fenris’s room. He walked down and stood outside his door. He heard the male thrashing and quickly opened the door and moved over. “Fenris wake up.” he said before pulling the male close into a bear hug. He would regret this probably. 

Fenris’s eyes snapped open to a dark room, eyes wide with fear. Someone was holding him…his markings were tingling and he could feel their skin…an undressed tethered mage. “No…No! Not again!” He screamed, struggling in the mage’s arms before what he feared was realized. His arms were pinned. He couldn’t reach his gun. No choice. His markings flared in defense as he sunk his hand into his attacker’s chest.

Garrett saw the flare and started to loosen his grip when he felt the other’s hand sink into his chest. It was impossibly hot and his body went into shock. His arms went limp from the other as he tried to breathe. Every nerve was on end. He couldn’t process his thoughts. He tasted cooper in his mouth and it flowed out of his mouth and down his chin. Blood welled up from where Fenris’s hand was lodged. It was hot and impossibly cold at the same time. He coughed and blood spit forward. 

“Sorry.” he managed to gasp. 

Fenris felt the rapidly beating muscle in his hand when Garrett’s apology reached him. His hold on him had released and he could see his face now. “Garrett….” Carefully, he let go and pulled his hand free, still in shock. He caught the man as he fell forward, the gravity of his actions catching up with him. He’d been trying to help and he’d….”Garrett! Stay awake! Stay with me!” He begged, holding him up. Maybe one of the mages was a healer. “Help! Please, someone help him!”

The sounds of scrambling filled the apartment and Isabela was the first to shove the door open and flick the light on. “Oh god Garrett!.” she yelled running over. “ANDERS!” she screamed. Garrett was weakly panting against Fenris. More voices reached his ears but they all seemed muddled. Anders ran into the room and swore. He quickly pulled Garrett toward himself and placed him down on the floor with the help of the others. “Isabela take it off!” he panicked holding out his wrist where a silver bracelet was latched on. It was a magic suppressant. She unlocked it and a surge of magic ran through the room and his eyes went blue with an electric surge around his eyes.  

Anders quickly brought his hands down on Garrett’s chest and magic surged into him. “Come on dammit.” he growled his voice oddly distorted. Garrett could feel the tug at his chest and saw the illusions of creatures beyond his friends. The demons the true enemies of mages. Merrill brought in a bucket of water that smelled of herbs and took a soaked cloth bringing it to his forehead. “Do not look at the demons they will steal you away Garrett!” she breathed out. 

Fenris couldn’t move, watching in horror as the others dealt with his mistake. The surge of power from Anders as the bracelet came off made him flinch, but he was grateful he had that much power to bear. He might be able to save him then. There was nothing he could do for this kind of injury. He could only cause it, not fix it.

Carefully, he got down from the bed, but stayed out of their way. “Garrett, stay with me…Please…I-I can help.” He offered, tossing his apprehension at letting mages know of his markings out the window. He’d deal with any exploitation later. “I can give magic. My markings store it. Please, let me help!”

Anders snapped up with a face filled with such hate it was almost enough to kill a man on the spot. “Haven’t you done enough?” he spat his voice sounding distorted. Merrill looked into Garrett’s eyes. “Oh no no no Garrett do not look at the demons.” she panicked. Anders was quick to look to Garrett’s face. The swirls of purple in his eyes spoke enough and he looked back to Fenris. “If you wish to help then help Merrill.” he said going back to Garrett’s damage. Merrill looked to Fenris. “Fenris focus on me alright?” she said pulling out a small knife and without hesitation cut into her hand. Blood swished up expanding into a barrier of sorts. 

Garrett saw the demon as it grew closer whispering sounds of death and promises. It grinned and then was shoved back by more magic. Another thing to avoid and hopefully never see. Another surge ran through his body and the wound finally healed over but the trauma was still there. “We need to move him to his room.”  

Fenris didn’t retort Anders hate this time. He was right. Just being around him had nearly gotten Garrett killed tonight….It still may. “Very well.” He accepted the orders, putting a hand on Merrill’s shoulder as she cut herself. An abomination and a blood mage….just what kind of friends did Garrett have? He bit back a cry of pain as magic was ripped from him outside his tether, the markings burning into his skin. If it could protect Garrett, it was worth the pain.

Finally, it looked like the worst was over as Anders called to move him to his room. His whole body ached from aiding Merrill, but it looked like Garrett was still himself it was worth it. “I’ll help move him.” He declared, moving to carry his torso since the others didn’t look particularly strong. The legs would be lighter.

Isabela quickly snapped the bracelet back onto Anders and he jerked slightly panting the blue fading and he blinked. “Shit ok umm let’s get him to his room.” he said quickly taking one leg while Isabela took the other. They heaved Garrett back to his room and onto his bed. Merrill began to clean the blood up while Anders went to get some special mixtures for him. Garrett was breathing softly and seemed out of it. 

In truth Garrett felt sick. His body was healed but the shock still was there. He managed to turn his gaze and saw Fenris looking at him. He seemed so close yet so far. “Sorry.” he said weakly once more.

Fenris helped carry him back, resting him on the bed. Everyone spread to take care of other duties, but Fenris stayed by Garrett’s side. Now that the panic of killing him had passed, the shame welled up quickly. He hung his head, unable to look at him.

He glanced up at his apology. How could he apologize? He hadn’t done anything wrong. “No….I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you and…I should have warned you.” He should have told him that he panicked if he woke incorrectly, that he could attack him. “I’m so sorry, Garrett…..” 

Garrett weakly reached out touching his hand a weak smile on his face. “Don’t be sorry…honest mistake…..I’m…really sleepy…I’m gonna take a nap.” he said before closing his eyes and passing out. His breathing was normal and he was out of danger. 

“Fenris can I speak with you in private?” Anders asked from the doorway looking in.

“….All right. You rest.” Fenris nodded, holding his hand. He didn’t feel worthy of touching him, not after the same hand had nearly killed him. At least he seemed all right now. Dread pooled in his stomach at Anders request. He knew exactly what this would entail and he’d have nothing to counter it with. He was a danger to Garrett. He’d just proven that.

Silently, he let go of Garrett’s hand and left the room to face the music. Honestly, hearing someone get mad at him for this would be a comfort. Garrett’s apologies when he’d done nothing wrong only tore at his heart.

Anders walked down the hall into an open room. He then turned and a swift punch to the jaw met Fenris. He then moved back shaking his hand. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You almost killed him!” he hissed angrily still shaking his hand out. He was fumming with anger. This man had shown up and everything had gone to shit. 

“Why are you still fucking around? Varric told me how you shot him in the leg because he was fucking concerned about if his leg properly healed are you just going to keep hurting him till one day he fucking dies! He doesn’t deserve that!” 

Fenris followed Anders into the next room, distracted by his own thoughts. Normally, he’d have been able to catch a punch like that, pin Anders’ arm behind his back. But he deserved to get hit this time. His head whipped to the side with the force of it and he didn’t bother to look back. He didn’t have a good excuse. It had been a mistake and the shot earlier had only been to save them and because he knew he could fix it.

“…..I know that. I…panicked. I did not mean to hurt him. I thought he was…someone else.” Fenris managed.

Anders was fumming and glared at him. “What did you even do wounds like that…..he’ll have some aftermath trauma from all that.” he said breathing hard. It was a rumor known that the hunter could ‘magically’ sink his fist into your chest and make your heart explode but it was a rumor and Anders had a mild fear that he had almost lost Hawke to that fate.

“Hawke is one of the most….he’s…Hawke…no matter what happens he’ll just smile and forgive anything but this….this was wrong…this whole thing with you is wrong.”

“….It’s my markings. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors. They are true. They grant me that ability.” Fenris explained, looking over the white lines that traced up his exposed arms. He finally managed to look up as Anders called what he and Garrett had wrong. It wasn’t his fault that he was made into a living weapon, used my the mages as nothing but a tool for their eventual conquest.

“I didn’t ask to be made this way! I never wanted these cursed markings! It was you mages who turned me into a…a weapon! I didn’t mean to hurt him! I never wanted to hurt him!” He snapped, his markings glowing threateningly.

At the increase of voice a green barrier went over Anders in defense in case the other attacked him. “The mages in this house had nothing to do with your blasted markings!” he snapped back. This was dangerous where this was going. “Your on a destructive course that will get you killed and I won’t let you take Garrett with you, if you want to go kill mages for what happened fine go the door is nearby but if your going to drag Garrett down I will fucking kill you first.”

He was angry. “I will not let you kill my friend because of your hatred.”

“I don’t want to kill Garrett!” Fenris shouted, noticing the barrier Anders had conjured. He would not be a weapon twice in one night. Taking a deep breath, he calmed the magic in his skin, gritting his teeth. “I haven’t killed a single mage since he began traveling with me other than out of self-defense. What happened tonight was an accident and what I did earlier was to prevent his death. I knew that I could fix a wound like that, but I couldn’t fight off an entire hunter outpost. I didn’t hurt Garrett tonight because I hate him or even because I hate magic. It was an accident.”

Anders watched him for almost a minute before the barrier vanished. He glared at him. “If something like this happens again….you better leave quick or I will kill you.” he said and shoved past him going back to his room. Garrett stirred in his sleep feeling sick. “Fenris….fenris…..fenris!.” he got louder waving his arms around. Where did he go? Did he leave? He tried to move up and with a loud thump fell out of his bed. 

“Don’t blame me if I fight back.” Fenris returned, watching Anders go. He was going to return to his own quarters when he heard Garrett calling his name, followed by a thud. Quickly, he returned to Garrett’s side, helping him up. “I’m here, Garrett.” Why he wanted him around after that was beyond him.

Garrett quickly brought Fenris into a hug and just held him there. “Don’t go.” he said softly. He wanted that simple thing that simple hug and a bit of affection. “I don’t want you to vanish….don’t go.” he said and sniffled. Why was he getting so emotional. He should be resting but no he was about to start crying instead. He was quite the man indeed. 

“I won’t.” Fenris promised, returning the hug this time. That he’d hug him again after doing so had nearly gotten him killed was baffling. He was glad that Garrett wasn’t afraid of him, though. “I won’t leave. We’re tethered, remember? I am yours.”

Garrett sniffled before leaning back slightly and gently kissed his cheek. He then managed to sit back on the bed and looked up at him. “Will you come if I call?’ he asked softly. He didn’t want to admit he missed having the other sleep next to him nor would he ask him to.

“…….” Fenris paused. He didn’t want to be separated from Garrett right now. Not while he had been so close to death. “Can I stay instead?” If he slept with him by his side, he wouldn’t be surprised when he was there…right? He hadn’t attacked him while they’d been at the hotel.

Garrett smiled and gently pulled him down onto the bed cuddling up to him in an instant. He pulled the thick blanket over them and smiled softly. “This is much better.” he muttered in a sleepy voice.He made sure to keep his cuddle loose in case the male needed some space but still cuddling all the same. “Thank you.”

Fenris was nervous about sharing the bed, afraid that he’d attack Garrett again. Still, the feeling of him there, warm and solid next to him brought comfort. “…..I nearly killed you.” He admitted to himself. “What if you aren’t safe with me?”

“It was my fault…I should have known better not to hold you like that while you were having a nightmare.” Garrett said softly not moving from his comfortable hold. He just wanted the warmth and the stability right now. “Besides I’m ok now so everything is fine.” he said. In the back of his mind he was still scared. He had only seen demons when his depression really kicked him after his families death. It nagged him but for now he had Fenris and that was ok. 

“….When I saw you hurt, I was so afraid.” Fenris admitted. “I didn’t want to be alone again. You can’t let me hurt you like that again. I don’t care what you have to do, use the markings if you have to, but don’t let me do that to you again.” He begged. “Please….I can’t have your blood on my hands. Not again.”

Garrett was quiet listening to him. He then pulled him in closer and kept him close. “I promise it won’t happen…whatever happens we’ll be ok, life will bring us forward ok?” he said softly and lightly ran his fingers through the others hair. This felt right no matter what anyone else said and he didn’t want to leave Fenris…not now not later not ever.

“OK….” Fenris accepted, letting himself pull closer to the other. The markings in his arms sang as they touched over Garrett’s chest, reacting to the rapid flow of magic between them. Gently, he pressed his lips to his lover’s. Anders was right that he’d always be a threat to Garrett, but he’d choose how much. In his contentment, a soft, barely noticeable glow lit the lines that marred his skin.

Garrett smiled into the kiss and gently kissed back. He cuddled the male close and got comfortable. He needed to sleep. After a few minutes of simply cuddling he fell asleep again holding onto Fenris. He was warm and content with Fenris next to him and he breathed out happily.

Fenris fell asleep soon as well, Garrett’s presence keeping the nightmares at bay. Anders would probably throw another fit tomorrow if he saw them. Fenris didn’t care. He wouldn’t hurt Garrett again.

* * *

 

Fenris rose early, blinking his eyes open in the morning light streaming in from the window. Still, he didn’t want to move. He was too comfortable here in his mage’s arms. Shifting to get more comfortable, he rested his head against his chest.

Garrett woke up about an hour later stirring slightly. He felt something warm on his chest and he smiled sleepily eyes still closed. He however also had a problem down south and he shifted. “Morning.” he mumbled. Play it cool Garrett then sneak to the bathroom.

Fenris dozed in Garrett’s arms, just enjoying the peace and warmth. He felt Garrett shift and looked up, smiling with only half his mouth as usual. As he moved, he felt something brush against his thigh. A quick assessment of the where the rest of Garrett was cleared up exactly what it was. “Were you having a good dream?” He smirked, pressing a kiss to his neck.

The kiss to his neck only made him harder and a dull throb started in his groin. Garrett groaned and then looked at him. “Yes I was actually I had barbecue chicken and pepsi I was living the life.” he joked casually. He was way to embarrassed to admit to Fenris that he was hard. “I should…uh go to the bathroom my breath must reek.”

Fenris couldn’t help the mischievous grin as Garrett groaned at the attention. He wasn’t hiding it well at all. “Garrett….” He breathed against his neck, shifting his leg against his erection. “I know. It’s all right.” He assured him, kissing his neck again.

Garrett let out a soft squeak when Fenris pressed his leg into his hard on. His face lit up at his words. “It’s embarrassing.” he admitted. He had never been in such a situation like this and normally if he did wake up with the problem he’d just go wank off. But right now he was in no position to even escape the situation. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s normal and I wouldn’t be doing this if I was uncomfortable.” Fenris assured him. If this had happened that first night they’d slept together, he’d have stormed out of the room. Now he wanted to see where this would lead. Claiming Garrett’s lips in an impassioned kiss, he shifted again to straddle his legs, his hand tracing the edge of Garrett’s pants. He wouldn’t touch him without his go. “Do you want me to handle this for you?” He breathed against his lips.

He moaned softly into the kiss. His body was overly warm and his erection twitched on it’s own now demanding attention. He liked the idea of the other handing it might even be kinky. He gulped. “Yes please.” he said softly. This was dangerous but he was looking forward to it in a way. 

Fenris leaned into the kiss again, his hand dipping into Garrett’s pants to curl around his erection. Slowly, he stroked him with a firm grip, his thumb flicking over the tip. Pulling away from the kiss, he bit down on Garrett’s neck, wanting to hear his reactions.

Garrett gasped out loudly when Fenris took hold of him. It was odd to have someone else handle that area but the firm grip felt fantastic. The light biting made him moan. He began to arch slightly from all the sensations happening at once to him. “Fenris.” he whined softly.

Fenris was only encouraged by Garrett’s moans, hearing his name among them. Speeding the pace of his strokes, he sucked at the place he’d just bitten, leaving a mark. “Garrett….” He sighed, rubbing his thumb hard against his tip as he bit harshly into his shoulder.

He cried out when he felt the others teeth sink into him. In a weird way it was getting him off and he bucked his hips up desiring more friction. It was so unusual and new and all so great. He wanted to cum so badly but at the same time he wanted to make it last so he could have this time with him. 

Fenris felt Garrett’s hips buck into his hand, his strokes hard and fast now as he worked him up more. Sucking gently at the mark he’d made in Garrett’s shoulder, he kissed him again, slipping his tongue into his open mouth.

Garrett's voice was muffled by Fenris kissing him and then his tongue. His toes curled. He wasn’t going to last it was all to much and his senses were going into overload. “Fenris!” he cried and with that was orgasming into the others hand. 

Fenris pulled back as Garrett came, letting him breathe and slowing his strokes. Once he seemed to calm down, he kissed his neck gently. “Feel better?”

Fenris was about to get up to clean off his hand and Garrett’s chest when Isabela pounded on the door. He’d forgotten that other people were in the house and he hadn’t exactly kept Garrett quiet. He felt his face turn red at the thought of facing everyone at breakfast. “I…forgot the others were still here.” He admitted, heading into the attached bathroom to wash his hands and get issues for the mage.

Garrett lay back as Fenris went to the bathroom covering his face in embarrassment. Isabela was never gonna let him hear the end of this. He was so screwed now to hear her tease him. She always made fun of him for still having his V card but now she would poke at it once more. 

Fenris returned with some tissues and cleaned up the mess, kissing Garrett once more. “Shall we head out and face them?” He asked, taking his hand.

Garrett slowly got up with a groan. “Isabela isn’t going to let me hear the end of this.” he whined softly but kissed the top of Fenris’s head. He pulled on new pants and a shirt and they walked out together. On the table was food and Isabela and Merrill sat there already eating.

Fenris pulled on a shirt and left with Garrett, trying to act natural as they entered the room. He couldn’t believe they’d been caught like that their first time. Silently, he got his food and sat down, trying not to invite further teasing.

Garrett sat down and Isabela smiled over at him. “So Garrett how are you feeling this morning? Feeling….relief?” she asked with such a smirk that Garrett’s face went bright red. “I feel fine.” he squeaked. “Is that a hickey?” Merrill asked pointing to his neck and if his face could get any more red it would have. 

Fenris couldn’t help a knowing smirk at Merrill’s comment. “Two, actually.” He teased, going back to his food. It was still embarrassing, but he was glad to be Garrett’s first…..something. It was nice to use what he knew for pleasure rather then…..what it had been.

Garrett choked on his food when Fenris spoke quickly trying to cover his neck. He hadn’t been so embarrassed since he had been little. He kept eating trying to endure Isabela’s little comments now and then. They finished and cleaned up. Isabela got dressed and went downstairs to open her bar along with Merrill leaving Fenris and Garrett alone upstairs.   

Fenris chuckled at Garrett’s embarrassment, defending his honor against Isabela’s comments. Finally, they left alone after cleaning up. Now that Isabela was gone, he wondered if he hadn’t rushed things a bit this morning. “Garrett…If you aren’t comfortable with what happened…we can wait before doing something like that again.”

Garrett looked over at him and then blushed. “No it was fine….it was just new and such and Isabela knowing is just embarrassing.” he admitted with a soft blush. However a dirty thought came to mind and feeling a tad confident and wanting to see if he could make the other blush for once he spoke up. “I love to be able to go down you sometime though.” 

Fenris was relieved that he hadn’t pushed Garrett too hard, but his confession made his eyes widen in shock before a blush settled on his cheeks. “….I would like that as well…” He admitted. He’d done the practice before, but never received it. He hadn’t especially liked doing it either…No. He shook his lightly before those memories swallowed him. That was then. This is now.

Garrett saw the blush and mentally cheered. He had gotten him to blush. He gave a smirk and leaned over slightly. “I can’t wait to see you blushing up a storm when I do.” he said dropping his voice slightly.

The flush on his cheeks only grew worse at Garrett’s teasing. “I-I will not.” Fenris insisted, turning his face away to hide it. Biting his lip, he tried to stop the steady flow of images of Garrett’s lips wrapped around his cock and the rush of heat they brought.

Garrett chuckled. “You teased me this morning now it’s my turn to tease you.” he said lightly and reached over and lightly touched his shoulder. He moved closer to him and gently pulled him close moving his face to look at him before kissing him.

“Is that how it works?” Fenris smirked, watching Garrett as he moved closer. As he leaned in, he let his eyes slip closed, raising a hand to his cheek as they kissed. He felt his chest tighten again, yearning for more.

His kisses were gentle and soft. He never pushed for more but the kiss itself was captivating. He rested a hand on his waist as he kissed him before pulling back slightly. “You just let me know whenever you want it ok?” he asked softly with a twinkle in his eyes. 

Fenris accepted each kiss, feeling warm with the affection. It was so different with Garrett. No force, no trapping him somewhere he couldn’t run away. He knew that if he wanted to, he could push him away and there would be no harsh slam into the wall behind him, no sting of punishing magic across his markings. He was kissing him because he wanted to and he never wanted to stop.

Fenris paused at Garrett’s solicitation, feeling uneasy. “No…I can’t order you to do something like that. Just…when you and I both want to.”

Garrett smiled and kissed his cheek at his answer. “Alright sounds good to me but just so you know…it wouldn’t be an order to me.” he said with a small chuckle before getting up. “I’m gonna take a shower.” he said.

Fenris nodded, understanding what he meant. Once Garrett was gone, he let out a deep breath. Now what was he meant to do? Having that kind of thing just up in the air at any time was….distracting. He debated joining Garrett in the shower. That was something normal couples did, right? He had such limited knowledge. If Garrett kicked him out, he’d leave…Simple. Getting up, he followed after his now lover. Now that he no longer feared it, he craved his touch.

Unable to simply barge in, he knocked at the door. “Garrett? I was…wondering if I could join you…” He asked, suddenly realizing that this would be the first time Garrett saw him naked, saw how far the markings went, the other scars that littered his back. What if the love just faded to disgust or worse, pity?

Garrett had now gotten into the shower and poked his head out blushing. “S-sure.” he answered before leaning back in. His heart was thudding. Showering with him was….well kinda exciting. He hadn’t seen the other naked before and he had to admit he was a tad curious about the markings. The door opened and he heard the other male getting undressed and he tried to calm himself. 

Fenris took a deep breath at the answer, stepping into the bathroom. Silently, he stripped off his clothes, exposing the markings that covered every inch of his skin. Turning to look at his back in the mirror, the scars from the lashings he’d earned each time he’d been disobedient still stood out, the white lines crossing over them. There was also a “W” branded into the small of his back. W for weapon. His body wore his past like an open book. There would be no way to hide them. Slowly, cautiously, he opened the shower door and stepped inside, keeping his back to the wall for now.

Garrett turned to look at him and then leaned in and kissed him softly. “Hi there.” he said softly. No change in his emotions. Still affectionate and all smiles. “Does this mean I can wash your hair?” he asked sheepishly. He was holding a bottle of spearmint scented shampoo which he admitted was his favorite scent. He could rolled in it all day and be content. 

Fenris was glad for the lack of change in him. He returned the kiss, letting the water run down his back. He only felt it in small places, his skin hardened and scarred over most of it. His lip turned up in a half-smile at his offer. It was now or never. “Yes.” He nodded, tipping his head back in the water to wet it before turning around, his face crumpling in anticipation of Garrett’s reaction.

Garrett shifted before looking to Fenris. “If I accidentally touch you somewhere that is triggering you can punch me.” he said with a small smile before starting to lather his hair with shampoo gently rubbing his scalp. As he washed he stepped a bit closer. “You have a very nice butt.” he said out of the blue. 

Fenris was expecting a gasp, questions, even anger, but there was no reaction from Garrett about the scars that riddled his back. He let him wash his hair, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of another’s fingers against his scalp. He snapped out of his reverie at the comment, stiffening as he moved closer. No. No, this was Garrett. He wouldn’t do that. Still, he felt too exposed and turned back around, needing the reassurance of his face. “You have nothing else to say? I know you are not blind, Garrett.” He insisted, needing the change in subject. 

Garrett paused with his hands still on his head and shifted. “It’s not my place to ask you about those….I have an idea where they are from but…I didn’t want to make you remember it so…..I just want to wash your hair and keep fighting the urge to pick you up in a hug and swing you around.” he said with a small smile.

Honestly, every time he distrusted Hawke, it only made him feel foolish. He was so innocent, it was sickening sometimes. “Fine…..Just no more comments about my backside.” He insisted, not quite calm enough to turn back around just yet.

Garrett nodded and continued to wash his hair. Finally he finished and shifted so he could rinse. He then smiled and kissed his forehead. “Feeling better?” he asked tilting his head. The hot water felt fantastic and he hope Fenris was feeling alright now that the air had been cleared.  

Fenris closed his eyes, relaxing as the hot water drummed against his skull. This was fine…Garrett wouldn’t do anything. “Yes…” He nodded, looking up to the other. “I’ll….tell you about what happened when we get out.” He felt like he owed him that much and…maybe it was time to stop keeping the secret, at least for one person.

Garrett smiled gently. “Only if you feel comfortable telling me.” he said and then washed his own hair and rinsed. It was peaceful under the water and awhile later they finally got out. Garrett dried off and got dressed into comfortable lounge pants and a tank top before sitting on his bed. 

Fenris finished his shower and stepped out with Hawke, feeling both relaxed and uneasy. He sat with Hawke on the edge of the bed after dressing, taking a deep breath. “….The lashes are…probably what you’d think.” He started. “I was a weapon, a tool. There was no use for tools that didn’t do as they were told. If I disobeyed…I was punished.” He rubbed at the small of his back where the “W” was branded into his flesh. “This…was to make sure both they and I understood what I was. A weapon.”

Garrett shifted as he listened. It was clear why the other would turn all that on hate for mages. It made his stomach turn over. No matter who would were no one should suffer like that. He slowly reached out and took his hand holding it gently and rubbing his thumb on his fingers as he listened. 

Fenris pulled his hand away as Garrett touched it, not liking the sensation of the tether on his markings right now. “…I’m sorry. It isn’t you. It just…There were some rules about how they could…make use of me. They decided it was too much strain, too much…magic poisoning if someone without a tether used me. There was no need to touch me unless I…That tingle was usually my warning that I was about to be spending the next hour or more blocking out whatever was happening.”

Garrett shifted uncomfortably on the bed. He knew what he meant and it was terrible. He ran a hand nervously through his hair. He didn’t know what to do what to say to him. He wanted to make it better to make the other smile and not have to live with such a terrible memory. He covered his face with one hand. What could he do?

Fenris watched Hawke agonize over what he’d been told. There was nothing he could do to fix it. That was simply what had happened. But there were some changes since then. “I used to think all mages were like that…Using their power for their own gain, trampling on those of us powerless to stop them. You…showed me otherwise. Magic can be useful, like Merrill’s protection or Anders’ healing and some mages can be good and noble men.” He assured him, pulling his hand away from his face. “That I don’t mind touching me at the right times…I’ve never bonded willingly with a mage….until you.”

Garrett turned to look at him. No words came to mind for him to say and all he could do was nod his head. He shifted for a moment. “I’m….are you sure…about all this?” he asked. He wanted to be sure the other was alright with everything even after what he had said. “I….just…I’ve always been alone and I would always leave safety and keep wandering so I wouldn’t get anyone hurt if I stayed around…I thought life would be easier alone…but I met you and…I don’t want to be alone anymore….even after…everything.”

“….I’m sure.” Fenris answered after a brief pause. “I know I push away at times. I may never stop. But despite your magic, I cannot bear the thought of being away from your side.” He gently turned Garrett’s face to his. “I may have captured Garrett the mage, but I…I love Garrett the person.” Pulling the taller man down, he pressed his lips against his.

Garrett's heart flipped at those words and in that moment he was then kissing the other. It was warm and soft and his heart skipped happily in his chest. He pulled back a bit with a blush and a smile on his face. “I’m glad.” he said softly and peeked his lips again. 

Fenris smiled, looking up at the other. “What about you? How do you feel about the murdering hunter, Little Wolf?” He asked, remembering all too clearly the ways he’d hurt the other in the name of defense. 

Garrett shifted his face scrunching in thought. There were so many words that came to mind when thinking of Fenris. He then wrapped his arms around the other. “Fenris is broody, angry, calm and collected and strong, he’s also gentle, brave and shows love in his own way….and I love that.” 

“Apparently, I’m doomed to be with mages whether I wish it or not.” Fenris smirked. He’d spent his whole life trying to get away from mages only to end up in love with one. “…I’m glad I didn’t kill you, Hawke.” It was something a normal person might say to make another laugh, but for him…if he hadn’t been after that new apartment, he’d have shot Garrett on sight.

Garrett smiled and kissed his cheek. “Me to.” he said softly. It was a lovely feeling to be loved. “Can we cuddle again tonight? To be honest sleeping alone was tough to do.” he said looking at him before adding quickly. “It doesn’t have to be every night in case you need your space.”

“Yes, we can.” Fenris answered with a smile. He was glad that Garrett understood that he couldn’t do it every night. “You aren’t afraid…after what happened before?”

“No it was my fault the last time so this time I’ll know better.” he said with a smile. He was glad he would be there tonight. He kissed his cheek again and then shifted. “So what do you want to do now we have time.”

“That depends on whether I can take you up on that offer you made before.” Fenris smirked, sliding closer to Hawke.

Garrett blinked and began to think. “Which one?” he asked his brain drawing up a blank.

“…….” Fenris stared back at Hawke, losing his nerve to ask for that. “Never mind. Let’s see where this takes us.” He leaned closer, kissing Hawke gently, but with some urgency.

Garrett smiled into the kiss and gently placed his hands on the males sides. It was calming and he kissed back. His fingers played with the material on Fenris’s shirt.

Fenris leaned into the kiss, pulling his arms around Hawke’s waist. Anders wasn’t here to whine at him about how he was a danger to Hawke anymore and Isabela and Merrill weren’t here to make fun of them. It was the perfect time to enjoy each other.

Garrett groaned into the kiss happily and and wiggled slightly. He flopped back taking Fenris with him so the other was laying on top of him making sure he wasn’t in a position to make him scared. 

Fenris laid atop Garrett, sliding his knee to rub between his legs as he slipped his tongue into his mouth. Running a hand through his hair, he took the control he’d never been allowed. “Tell me…to stop..if you want to.”

A rush of cold suddenly came over Garrett. He pulled back from the kiss and shifted. "Can...can we wait?" he asked softly now feeling terrible for asking.

Fenris blinked before gently pulling up and then running a hand through Garrett's hair. "We can wait." he said and then curled up next to him simply listening to him breathe. The simplicity itself was enough to put the both of them to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always loved. Anything anyone wants to see feel free to speak up.


	9. It Has Begun

_The flashes are suffocating._

_The flames licked at his skin and he clung to his mothers arm. His arm thrust forward and weak frost magic attempting to keep the flames at bay. His brother and sister no where to be found. The soft sobs coming from his mother fueled him to keep her safe. A powerful burst of frost cleared their path and he helped his mother out of the burning home. Screams echoed in his ears and he tried not to look at the destruction around him._

_"Garrett!"_

_His father's voice reached him and he looked over. Malcolm rushed over picking his wife up and looking him. "Where are the twins?"_

_An explosion nearby ripped his attention from his father. The twins. Oh maker no. His feet carried him without another thought going toward the danger. He had to find them. He ran down into the thick of the destruction yelling out their names over and over. Crying caught his ears and he ran toward it. Carver was sitting on the ground sobbing a small body cradled in his arms. Everything seemed to slow and his heart stopped for a fraction of a second. Oh maker no not Bethany. He rushed forward sliding in the mud and muck before coming down next to his younger brother._

_"Bethany...."_

_His little sister gone. So full of life and a smile that could light up a room now lay dead in front of him. Carver was sobbing and clutching her body. He could hear everything. The gunshots, the screams, the crackling of the flames. Carver looked up at him and fear came into his eyes to what he saw beyond Garrett. He turned and felt his blood turn to ice. A woman with long blonde hair and the most intense blue eyes looked down at him. Hatred consumed her eyes as she looked down at him. A gun was lifted and pointed at him._

_"You are a cancer in this world and must die."_

_But the bullet never came. Instead she was thrown away from him. Familiar hands tugged him and he was pulled away along with his brother. His father looked back with a smile before turning back to the fray. Garrett looked to his brother and mother the fear still there. The edge of the forest was in sight before a mage got in their way. He looked crazed and was covered in blood._

_"Death to all!"_

_He grabbed with brother without thinking and pulled him away as the magic imploded around them. A shriek met his ears and he looked over to see his mother falling.  No no no no no no! He lashed over in rage the blood wrapping around the mage and with that rage he burst the mages heart. When the high of the attack finally crashed his heart froze over. What had he done? His brother had left his side to run to his mothers side. The hunters were coming and he stepped back toward the forest looking to his brother. His brother looked over at him eyes filled with sadness and rage. The fire would engulf them in moments and he turned and ran._

 

 

* * *

 

 

   Garrett awoke with a jolt sitting up panting. A cold sweat had consumed his body and his heart was racing. He looked back to his bed noticing it was empty now. He looked to the clock and saw the time. 10:23AM. He got out of bed and took a quick shower before heading out into the living room. 

It had been two months now and the days had pretty much become a blur. He would get up and go about doing chores around the apartment and find new ways to make puns at the worst times much to the rest of the groups dismay. Fenris had settled down and seemed content with the lifestyle. He had even cut down on how bitterly he spoke of mages. It was getting better and everyone was happy. Except today was different. The dream haunted his thoughts. He had forgotten everything about that time. Magic to erase the guilt and pain. But it was coming back and he remembered all the horrible things he done in the beginning to survive. He ran a hand over his face and got some food from the fridge. Everyone was gone and a few notes had been left for him. All had gone out to do their own things. Magic pulled at his skin softly a constant reminder of the bond he shared now.

Why had he done that? The old him would have fought off the hunter killing without any remorse and then leaving. The magic had left him kind and soft and both sides now tore into each other fighting for dominance. It twisted in his gut making his head hurt. He felt ill and left his food on the table before slipping his shoes on and walking out of the apartment.

The cool sea air was a welcome relief and relieved some of the tension from his head. He wandered down to the dock and sat at the edge. Why was this happening now? Why was being forced to remember everything that had happened? He absentmindedly began to swirl the water up to his finger. It gently moved around his hand soothing him in an odd sort of way. He barely noticed the time before he realized it was dark out. He let the water fall and got up heading back into town.

Isabela's bar was packed as usual. He moved over getting a drink much to Isabela's surprise. He rarely drank. He knew he'd been in line for questioning later but for now he found a seat and settled with his vodka soda.

"Well I am surprised to see you with a drink Hawke."

He looked up seeing Anders staring at him an inquisitive look. He shrugged taking another sip.

"No witty comment or snark? Something is wrong." Anders said taking a seat and scooting up to him. His hand reached out caring and concerned and Garrett pushed away. He didn't want to helped at least not right now.

"Hawke what's wrong?" he asked his voice full of concern.

"Nothing I just want to be alone." he said sounding more hostile then he had intended. Anders picked up on it instantly and frowned. He had never been hostile with him before so of course it must send red flags up. Garrett took a long sip and then coughed. The alcohol burned going down and burned more in his stomach.

"Hawke you can't keep yourself bottled up it's not healthy I've seen what happens when a mage keeps themselves bottled up to long." The words he spoke only irritated him more then before. Then Anders reached out for his drink and Garrett simply lost his control. Without a second thought he lashed out shoving Anders away causing the man to hit the floor.

"Piss off!" he yelled. The bar fell silent all eyes on him. When had he stood up? He didn't remember. All he could feel was anger and lack of control. Anders slowly stood up moving in a defensive position. The door to the bar opened and Fenris entered. His markings had lit up and he looked over and his eyes went from on the attack to shock. 

"Hawke let's not do anything we'll regret ok?" Isabela had walked over cautiously reaching over and placing a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and walked away passing Fenris without a look and going into the darkness. 

* * *

 

 

Garrett did not return until the early hours of the morning. He quietly entered the apartment and entered his room. Fenris was there asleep on his side. He had almost forgotten about that. Some nights Fenris would sleep in his bed his way of showing forms of affection and that he did care about him. He paused looking at him taking in his face like it was the first he was seeing it. Ever small detail and every mark and it made him smile. But it did not last. The man was a hunter and one day he'd turn on him and he'd be dead. It was as simple as that and it hurt him. It hurt his heart so much he wished he could rip it out. He walked over gently moving some hair from the males eyes before turning away and leaving the room. He sat on the couch and turned the TV on. Early morning infomercials were stuff of legend. He flicked through the channels before settling on a news channel. What he saw made him freeze up.

"Mages are a disease that must be purged from our society and we must stand strong against them. They are less then human and deserve no mercy!"

It was her. The woman from so long ago. The ice in her eyes as dark as ever. He went to change the channel when something or someone caught his eye. It couldn't be! He was dead. He had died so many years ago. But it looked like him and Garrett had never been more sure in his life.

Carver was alive.......and a hunter.

Kirkwall was a days drive away and had a strong mage presence in that area due to a man named Orsino who led a group against the hunters. It was madness but....it could work and get him close enough to see. See if it was Carver. 

However there was a problem. He looked down at his hands. Magic invisible to the naked eye swirled there. Almost like cuffs showing him of the bond he had made with Fenris. He stood up making his choice. He packed a bag and headed outside getting to the edge of town and looking back. He let out a breath and with a powerful force of magic broke the bond. He let out a breath feeling his magic swirl back to himself and he looked back to the town.

He briefly wondered if he should go back but instead turned and walked into the darkness towards the highway. 

The walk was uneventful and after an hour of trying a truck pulled over. The window rolled down to reveal two men. One had olive colored skin with an undercut and a rather fabulous mustache if Garrett had any say about it. The second man whom was the driver had tanned skin with long red hair that was kept in a loose braid. 

"Need a lift somewhere?" 

Garrett nodded. "I'm going to Kirkwall." 

The mustache man whistled. "That place is a horror show waiting to happen. It gives me the willies thinking about it." 

The redhead snorted. "Best avoid places like that but we can get you close." 

Garrett climbed into the back and got comfortable. "I'm Raiden and this is my boyfriend Dorian." Raiden said looking back with a soft smile extending a hand. Garrett took it and felt something. This man was not fully a mage but something magical lingered inside of him. Almost like it had been forced on him. Dorian seemed to hesitate looking at him then smiled brightly. 

"So your a mage as well." he declared without any hesitation. Garrett froze starting to pull away before Raiden cut in. 

"We aren't hunters. Well....I use to be but Dorian here is from Tevinter he came in hopes of stopping something big that's coming."

"Sweetheart you soundly divulge information like that to strangers." Dorian said reaching over and lightly pulling at his hair. Garrett paused looking between them. So an ex hunter and a mage. The way Dorian looked at Raiden was so utterly cute that Garrett felt incredibly jealous by the display. He cleared his throat before speaking up.

"My brother is in Kirkwall I was hoping....to talk to him." he said softly. Both men looked at him and expressions softened.

"Please don't tell me your going to be joining that old mans rebellion against that city its plain suicide and if mages are going to get any redemption they need to stop and show they can do good other then attacking to survive." Dorian said looking at him.

"There are worse things right now then that city anyways." Raiden said softly. The feeling in the truck went quiet. Garrett sat back looking out the window watching as trees flew past him. Dorian made conversation and idly played with Raidens hair as he drove. The treeline turned to the sea and they kept going. The sun began to peak over the horizon and Garrett dozed off.

 

 

When he did awaken again the truck was stopped. He sat up quickly almost hitting his head on the roof. Dorian looked back with a snicker.

"Finally decided to grace us? I do say your snoring was enough to wake the dead I'm surprised you didn't summon a hoard with all that snoring." he chuckled.

"Sorry about that...guess I needed the sleep." Garrett said and then he looked at where they were. Raiden came out the doors of the store with his arms full of bags of snack food and drinks. He got back in handing everything to dorian while also handing a bag to Garrett. 

"Didn't know what you liked so I just got the basic snack food." he said with a gentle smile. 

"I don't know how to repay you I don't have really any money on me right now." Garrett said sheepishly.

"You can repay us by coming somewhere with us. It's a safe place for mages and hunters alike, and there people there we would like you to meet."

Garrett paused for a moment before nodding. If anything happened he could flee simple as that. Raiden smiled softly and they began to drive again. A few hours passed before they turned off the highway and headed down a dirt road for awhile before coming to a large building. It had impressive defenses and a guarded gate. Raiden rolled down the window and smiled at the gate keeper who was a burly man with a more impressive beard then Garrett's making him feel almost self conscious. They went inside and what he saw made his eyes pop out of his head.

People but more importantly mages and hunters alike. No violence even helping on another. They exited the truck and walked over to a white haired male. First sight this man was tiny. He had to be at least 5'2 and underweight. His eyes were a snowy blue and sparkled with kindness. "This is my cousin Adrien." Raiden said with a smile. Garrett nodded before opening his mouth. 

"Nice to meet you I'm Garrett." he said. Adrien beamed at him lifting a hand up and shaking his hand. Damn he was small.

"It's good to see a new face here." Adrien said. His voice was soft and smooth and made him feel very relaxed.

Garrett felt soothing magic flow around him and almost wanted to lean into it. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before. He wanted to embrace this peace and never have to fight again. 

"Welcome to Skyhold."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always loved. Any questions can be directed to my tumblr realityincolor.tumblr.com 
> 
> Also sorry its been so long since my last update lots of stuff plus writers block is a pain.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally an rp I had with a friend on tumblr so I'm trying to format it so it looks nice. I plan to keep this updating as much as possible. Anyone have some ideas or insight just give a comment.


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